I Get It, Gruene

It's Memorial Day here in the United States, 
a time set aside to remember those who've served
and given the ultimate sacrifice, their lives.
Here's what I saw at Hobby Airport today,
a White Table set so we won't ever forget.


I'd gone home to celebrate my baby brother,
who turned 50 last week.


And before flying home Thursday night,
I decided that it was time for me to retire from my comfort zone
and start my encore career.

I've been talking about and planning my retirement for some time now, especially in the last five years since my life was detoured by a drunk driver and I was forced down a road to recovery riddled with panic and pain. But at the end of each of those years, I always found the strength and energy to do one more. This year again, I thought I might do one more. But so many signs in the last ten days left me more certain than ever that I didn't have one more year left in me.

Tonight, my journal entry, written on my way home this afternoon:

As I fly 10,000 feet above ground on a plane trip home from celebrating Mark's 50th with family, thoughts quickly turn back to Wednesday night last week, when I told John I can't do it any more, that I've run out of steam for that full-time job. When his words gave me permission to turn in my retirement letter, I got up out of bed awash with relief to open the computer and start typing. A weight lifted as I thought about all of the stuff I won't have to do anymore, 
the heartbreak I won't have to feel as I listen and empathize, 
the conflicts I won't have to mediate and help resolve, 
the paperwork I won't have to organize and complete.

And as I read these words, negative self-talk rears its ugly head and tells me I'm sounding pretty lazy, selfish even. But self-care isn't selfish, so I must choose not to believe it. I've run the race with fidelity and determination, and now it's time to let someone else carry the baton and run the next leg of the marathon.

I really was determined to work full-time one more year, to help the new students who are making a zone transfer acclimate and enjoy a smooth transition to our school family, to get our students through the one-year anniversary of hurricane Harvey's trauma, to reunite with my preK kiddos from four years ago, but it just wasn't meant to be.

Two weeks ago, the Principal told me it was possible that we'd lose our leadership learning space if our enrollment went any higher. I was with Wendy, our AP, negotiating for which office we'd each end up in and we were goofing around; to add levity and decrease stress when I said, "You're going to miss us when we leave you after next year." That's when he said, "Everybody is replaceable." Wait, what? After I got over the initial sting of that statement, it gave me pause {Was I staying for all the wrong reasons? For the principal, for my husband, for the new kids, for my staff, for a paycheck rather than for passion, connection and joy?} before giving me permission and peace to go.

It was as if after that moment signs started to tug at my heart, things I could no longer remember, mistakes I'd not made before, problems I couldn't (and kind of didn't care to) solve. An awkwardly painful interaction with a former administrator.  Tears. Frustration. Hurt. 
Physical pains that were probably psychosomatic. 
Lots of events that should have been joyful,  
zone transfer tours, 
second grade tours, 
Open House for new families,
DARE graduation,
Awards Day,
 all leaving me overwhelmed instead of invigorated.
Arthritis settling in my left fingers making playing the ukulele painful.
That nagging feeling that it's time. 

Goodbye parties for our retirees mixed with jealous thoughts of wishing I could join them next week to bid farewell at our district retirement luncheon. An anxious startling Monday night at a car I'd swear was moving in my direction that Joshua assured me was not, a sign that my anxiety was threatening to come back with a vengeance. Walking on eggshells, worrying about everything, unable to do much of anything. Questioning myself and my competence, unable to get clarity. Wanting to be willing to stay but needing so desperately to 
admit my limitations, 
to be okay with leaving,
to ask to be excused.

It has taken a raw vulnerability (my #oneword2018) to be able to say "I just can't anymore." But when it's just not there to give away, that's how it has to be. So I made an appointment to go to HR by 9 am on Thursday morning, to find out it's not too late for a May 31st retirement date, called Austin for a summertime appointment, then went in to my Principal's office to deliver the news. Wendy already knew because I'd called her in tears the night before. This time, she didn't say, "Denied!" like she'd done in jest every time retirement came up in our two years together. 

This time she just said, "I get it, Gruene." 

Four little words, one huge impactful gift. 
The gift of empathy. 
Because she noticed. 
She knew because she'd seen her mom go through it. 
She added, "I don't like it, but I get it, Gruene." 
More tears. 
A big ugly cry. 
Because she gets it. 

She went on to say she was trying to help me keep our learning space and I thanked her with assurance that it's not so much about the space as it is about it being time for me to move on. I'd still advocate for the new counselor to keep that space, no question, but I don't want my decision to be about a space stand-off. I want it to be a celebration for the lives I've been able to touch, the hearts I've been able to comfort, the minds I've challenged. The problems I've helped solve, the calm I've brought to my school family, the joy they've given back to me. The mistakes I've grown through, 
the apologies I've tried to model albeit not always very successfully, 
the forgiveness that has challenged and strengthened me,
the gratitude I feel. 
Forever grateful to thousands of littles
and their families, our stakeholders,
and to my colleagues and friends.

I cried off and on all day Thursday, then came home to take a nap. Around 6 pm, I knew it was time to share my news with my staff. I hated to do it by email, but I was taking the 8:20 pm flight to WI so I opened up my laptop and started typing. When I got to the airport, I posted a Facebook announcement letting people know I'd taken this leap of faith.

Thank you, people said.
Noooooooooooo, people wrote.
What are your plans?, people asked.
How will Bales work without you? they wondered.
You have BIG shoes to fill, they added.

Tonight, there's a lot that I don't know.
What I do know is that I'm taking my shoes.
Probably taking my puppets, too.
Can't figure out what I'll do with 18 years worth of stuff yet, 
but it'll work out as it should.
It always does.

For now I'm pretty sad, but I'm also psyched at the  possibilities, no, probabilities (and pausabilities) that lie ahead. What a great retirement present, to have a world full of opportunities laying in wait for me.  

And the greatest gift in all of this, people like Wendy
 who hold my hand and my heart simply by saying,
 I get it, Gruene.      







2

Savoring The Path To Serendipity

Friday morning, I was in a sort of end-of-the-year funk,
just going through the motions,
watching the minutes click off of the clock.
Before the first hour had passed, I had a text from a friend,
asking if I'd seen that there was an active shooter in Santa Fe.
Wait, what? Our Santa Fe, just down the road Santa Fe?
My AP and our maintenance man both live in Santa Fe.
Before long, news that an officer was down.
And then, the update that eight young lives were taken.
Just like that.
A kid killing kids.
I absolutely couldn't catch my breath
at the thought of us losing our most precious resource.
Children.
Again.
Two teachers died, too; 
heroes who couldn't stand the thought of their students being shot.


After school, when our own students had left for the weekend
and I could relax and reflect,
I sat in our comfort chair and I cried,
for the devastated families whose loved ones aren't coming home,
for how horrifically frightening and long that day must have been,
for how painful the days, months and years ahead will likely be.
I cried for innocence lost. 
Again.
And I felt overwhelming helplessness.

If ever I needed The Path to Serendipity
and get a booster shot of healing and hope, 
it was this weekend.
And look what was waiting on my doorstep when I got home. 


There are so many nuggets of inspiration in this one little treasure to help us unwrap the present and discover life's gifts.


As I devoured through the text savoring every sentence, I found myself making so many connections with principal and author Allyson Apsey, from our upbringing in the midwest to battling bullying in high school to working with intention to live a life that matters.

This authentic, bold leader is the real deal.
And her spot-on reflections are positively uplifting.
Even in her journey's stops which require tissues,
Allyson is able to find sparkly diamonds 
where it seems there's nothing but dust.
She reminds us that it's all about
what we choose to mine.
Even when life gets painful.

She credits her years of experience as well as 
for many of her myriad wise insights and connections.
I especially love the reminder about Glasser's belief
that everyone has five basic needs,
belonging, fun, freedom, power, and survival,
something to keep in mind the next time
we happen upon an argument, 
a conflict 
or a challenging behavior.
I know it'll help us not only professionally
but with personal relationships as well.

Oh, I could go on and on, but instead
I'll invite you to check out The Path to Serendipity;
I'm quite certain you'll be thankful that you did.

Thank you, Allyson, for sharing your heartbeat;
I could feel your passion and your joy on every page.
{Oh, and you were right; I loved the forward by Brad Montague!}







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PPBF: A World Of Pausabilities

Today I'm feeling mindful of the world of possibilities
that unfolds before our eyes every day.
But only when we pause to unwrap the present.


Title: A World Of Pausabilities
Author: Frank J. Sileo
Illustrator: Jennifer Zivoin
Publisher: Magination Press
Birthday: February 13, 2017
Suitable for: ages 4-8
Themes: mindfulness, being present
Brief synopsis: This rhyming text encourages children to press pause in their lives so they can focus on slowing down and being present.
Opening page: 
Do you know what a PausABiLity is?
Resources:

Check out my read-aloud of the story poolside here:




Read about other mindfulness titles from Magination {here}.
Peruse reviews of the book {here}.
Sign up for the Calm Schools Initiative {here}.
Check out my mindfulness Pinterest collection {here}.

Why I like this book: In a world that's increasingly hectic and demanding, it's so important that our littlest learners learn to press pause so they can breathe and think. This brilliantly-illustrated, Mom's-choice award winner aims to teach children ways to choose calm and quiet. In the back of the book, there's a bonus two-page spread directed at parents and caregivers to educate them on the benefits of practicing mindfulness.

I appreciate its focus on enjoying what's in front of us, mindfully aware, without judgement. After sharing the book, head outside to see what's in bloom! Take in the sights, sounds, smells and feels.


Look what I spotted in my backyard yesterday afternoon.


After a nature walk, grab some chalk 
and draw a picture on the sidewalk.


Can't get outside? Enjoy a water fountain inside.


One of my students brought this bird fountain to me this week after telling her grandma that she wanted to find something to match my personality. Isn't it beautiful? It sounds so soothing and brings peace and calm to my office.

Encourage your older students to write an acrostic poem
using the word PAUSE:

P is for peace.
A is for awareness.
U is for understanding.
S is for senses.
E is for emotions. 

In which other ways do you awaken your senses while you 
breathe in calm and enjoy the world of endless pausabilities?

Looking for more new titles?
Head to Susanna Hill's blog for more PPBF goodness next.






6

Volunteering Kindness

We've done it, just finished our 15th year of our Knit-for-Service Club meetings. Doesn't this year's group of volunteer needle-workers look adorable?


Third, fourth and fifth graders volunteer their time,


to knit a cap to help save the life of an underweight preemie.

Photo credit: Save The Children
Unravel details about our 15 years of knitting to serve
 {here}, {here} and {here}.

Here's our keepsake Knit One, Save One video; 
these young knitters are now high school seniors about to graduate. 



I'm told a few of them still use their skill to help others.

Volunteering is contagious like that; once you get the ball rolling, you'll want to keep on helping out. Lisa Currie from The Ripple Kindness Project wrote about the helper's high in this kindness post. Volunteering has been shown to help improve the health and well-being of volunteers and donors.

And no, you don't have to have a special skill to be a volunteer;
anyone can see a need and fill a need. Consider these opportunities right in your own neighborhood: washing a car, raking some leaves, shoveling some snow, mowing a lawn, watering some plants.

Need a nudge launching a volunteer campaign of your own? Why not sign up with WE Volunteer Nowan inspired way to organize a student volunteer activity. Whether you want to visit a senior home, donate to a food pantry or raise awareness about a cause that your kids are passionate about—like safe driving or recycling— this campaign is an easy way to get started.

 Simply enter here on WeAreTeachers and you’ll get an instant download from WE Volunteer Now, full of information on how to start a volunteer campaign at your school. You’ll also get access to grade-specific lessons you can use right away. 
WE Volunteer Now Campaign Resources include:
·       A step-by-step guide on how to get started with service learning curriculum in your classroom
·       Volunteering ideas
·       Teacher checklists to keep you on track
·       A worksheet for you to complete with your class—by the end you’ll have a solid idea of which volunteering option is best for you!
·       We Volunteer Now curriculum
Made possible by The Allstate Foundation, the WE Volunteer Now grants help schools and youth groups in their effort to give back to their local communities in a creative and unique way. As a bonus, 500 schools will receive a $250 grant to use towards their volunteer project. The grants will be distributed on a first-come, first-served basis to all eligible schools/groups, to be used toward supporting your volunteer project. The eligible school or youth organization must:
·       Have an educator, administrator, or adult group leader to fill out this application 
·       Be based in the U.S. and registered in the WE Schools program
·       Plan to use the provided funds between October 2017 – October 2018
·       Include students/youth participants in grades K-12
·       Participate in the WE Volunteer Now Campaign
Check out the reasons to join WE schools {here}, then enjoy these benefits:
Inspire your students to make a real difference. When you join the WE movement, you’re giving your students a chance to make a difference in their neighborhood and in the world. Together you’ll find something you are passionate about and can work toward as a group.
Fit service into your curriculum with ease. You signed up and took the first step. Now, you can use the WE Schools Kit to figure out which action or campaign your students want to work on throughout the year. The kit is packed with ideas for teachers and students to brainstorm ideas and set goals.
Earn your way to WE Day. Once you’ve decided on a project, finished your good deed, and reported your results, you’ll get a chance to earn your way to WE Day. It’s a stadium-sized event (there are six held annually in select cities across the country!) that brings together amazing speakers and performers. And YOU and YOUR students could be honored; students can tune in and watch live.
Be a part of something huge. Last year, 4,200 schools across the United States signed up and participated in WE Schools. That’s 1.3 million students! Plus, over 3.1 million viewers watched the WE Day Special on CBS this past August.
Help your students earn service learning hours and AP credits. High, middle, and even elementary schools are requiring students to log the time they’ve spent on service learning and volunteering. The WE Schools framework gives your students more options to gain volunteering time in ways integrated with your lessons.
Instill a love of volunteerism in your students (that they’ll have forever) just like we've done with our knitters. In a hectic world that values achievements and grades, it can be tough for students (and their parents) to make the time for giving back. WE Schools and the WE Volunteer Now campaign show us all how accessible volunteering can be.
Sign up for WE {here}.  

NOTE: This post is brought to you by WeAreTeachers, the Allstate Foundation and WE. Please join me in thanking them for their sponsorship.






0

Making Something Spectacular

Today I'm thinking about how cool it is when parts come together 
to make something whole.


About how seemingly small pieces quickly combine 
to create something really special.


About how every little contribution


makes a big difference.


It's something that has been on my mind for a while now, something that came to the forefront today as our fifth graders started to paint their mosaic mural.


Each student paints their portion of the mural, whose theme this year depicts how our school and community came together to help one another recover and restore after hurricane Harvey blew through.


UPDATE: After day 2.
Finished masterpiece: Restoration

We actually once made a rainstorm five-hundred-students strong at one of our character assemblies, to illustrate what happens when we all do something small to create something big.



In unity, strength.

I love experiencing the magic when parts of the whole 
unify to make something spectacular.






0

PPBF: Yoga Frog

Today's PPBF is so stinkin' adorable; prepare to fall in love with Yoga Frog.


Title: Yoga Frog
Author: Nora Carpenter
Illustrator: Mark Chambers
Publisher: Running Press Kids
Birthday: May 29, 2018
Suitable for ages: preK-3rd grade (and beyond)
Themes: mindfulness, relaxation, yoga
Brief synopsis: Travel with Yoga Frog through 19 yoga poses to help you 
re-energize and get back in touch with your happy self.
Opening page: 
Every morning, Yoga Frog wakes with the sun and stretches his arms high above his head. Sometimes he's still tired. Sometimes he's even a tad grumpy. 
He isn't really a morning frog.
When he's not feeling his happy, froggy self, or if he wants to feel better, Yoga Frog knows just what to do: yoga! Join him! 

Resources: Check out the author's website {here}.
Read a Publishers Weekly review {here}.
Do yoga with Frank the Frog and Cosmic Kids {here}.
Sing the I Am Yoga song with Emily Arrow.


Compare and contrast Yoga Frog with I Am Yoga by Susan Verde. 


Why I like this book: Such a playful way to introduce our littlest learners to the practice of yoga as a way to stretch, relax and regroup. The author and illustrator work together in harmony to explain and show the poses, sharing their everyday names along with their Sanskrit names. I loved the bonus Note To Parents in the back along with a perforated fold-out poster of the precious frog 
practicing all of the poses.

In a world in which children are increasingly stressed out,
it's so important to find ways to stay in the moment,
to relax and restore, and to unwrap the present.

Check out this book for help with doing just that.
Put it in a calm-down caddy or a Peace Room.
Then head to Susanna Hill's blog for today's other PPBF picks.

Oh, and May the Fourth be with you. 






7

Puppet-Tree In Motion

Today I'm excited because I was invited to share how puppets have helped me and shaped my school counseling story on a #StoriesInEdu podcast.

Do you have any puppets?
We have a parrot, an eagle, a wolf, a sloth, a bird,
a toucan't toucan, a kitten, two pigs, a turtle,
a bronco, a pack rat, a cow, a bear, a giraffe,


Hi Junior!

a caterpillar, and a pirate.
Am I forgetting anyone?
Here's they are, our Puppet Patrol, hanging out in the Puppet-Tree 
that Kaitlyn made for us in an architecture class.


It was such a blast, to go back 18 years and reminisce about Seymour, my first puppet, and remember what happened when I first got to Westwood and forgot to grab that baby harp seal when we evacuated for my first fire drill there.

Who knew that the littles would think the puppets were REAL?

And to talk about how I engage all learners from preK through 5th grade 
with our squawker, Winthrup, who tends to worry.


To share about the time that some third-grade girls
gave up recess to gather some rocks for my thieving Pack Rat,
so he has his own and doesn't have to steal anymore.


And to plant ideas for using the puppets as a tool to facilitate conversations, to solve problems, and to integrate them into curricular areas, like writing.


And to let them be kids for a bit and play.
Because play heals.
And it's just flat-out fun 
for young and old alike.

And today, this note from a fifth-grade girl
who is going to miss us.
Can you feel the puppet love?


The interview is also available as a You Tube clip:



How do you unleash the power of the puppet?

I'm so grateful to the Bretzmann Group and to Mandy and Josh
for this amazing opportunity. It was great fun chatting with them.

Speaking of gratitude, how will you thank 
your favorite teachers next week?

Click the image below to go to a guest post
I wrote for my friends at Prosign Design
sharing some intriguing ideas for Teacher Appreciation Week.



Happy May.





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