Kindness Paints The Prettiest Pictures

Happy Friday! Today I'm excited
to share this story, with permission from
the owner of Penelope, this stately antique truck.


As soon as I saw this Facebook post,
I knew who Kathy was because
our town is a pretty small one
and only one Kathy around paints like this.
Isn't it incredible how she used her talent
to celebrate and bless this unsuspecting neighbor
even as she continues to recover from the flood!
Kindness always paints the prettiest pictures.

Today's picture book pick, also a celebration,
is a Rosenthal mother-daughter collaboration
to delight (and rejoice in) the honor of being a girl.


It's an adorable page-by-page reflection of 
thoughts to ponder,
wisdom to embrace,
advice to live by,
for those girls dear to your heart

Click {here} for an interview with Paris Rosenthal
about keeping her mom's memory alive
by publishing this beautiful treasure.
Oh how I miss AKR, but while she may be gone, 
she will never be forgotten.

Experience and enjoy a read-aloud here: 



Check out this book; it'll be the perfect gift
for that dear girl in your life regardless of her age or stage.

Our chapter book pick of the week comes straight from the heart of The Savvy School Counselor, my cyberspace colleague Vanessa Green Allen.


Vanessa's team invited me to preview and endorse the book, so here are my impressions: Kudos to school counselor and kid advocate Vanessa Allen for this timely empowerment tool that will undoubtedly bully-proof countless young people as it makes its trek around the world. The No More Bullying Book for Kids not only sets the important cognitive distinction between mean and bullying behaviors, but it also provides critical real-life examples alongside reflection questions to build capacity and strength to nurture healthy relationships. Teachers can use this text as a resource to enrich class meetings; parents and caregivers can grow along with their children as they equip themselves with respect and resilience skills that'll help them soar socially and emotionally. Check out this treasure trove of quick tips and proven strategies that will stand the test of time.

Congratulations, Vanessa; I am so proud of you.

Whether you're coupling your life experience with your writing skills to make a child's world better or you're working with your mom even as she's fighting for her life to scribe an inspirational storybook or you're creating on a canvas to express your gratitude even as you grieve, kindness always paints the prettiest pictures.
  






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Loving Kindness, Saving Starfish

Today I'm feeling joyful and grateful
because of this beautiful blessing,
a collaboration with my Twitter friend Julie Woodard,
who offered to create this Sketchnote for me
as I work on my keynote for the Indiana School Counselors.


Their theme is Making A Difference, 


so using the Starfish Thrower we borrowed my students' reflection that echoed in the drawings and notes from my Smile File, like these:





Aren't their words of gratitude and kindness incredible?
I love that they get it, the role of the school counselor,
that I got to "make people care about people and make them have hope" . . . 
"even when you don't feel like it." Boom!
I'm planning to make Julie's creative image into mini-posters
to give away to workshop and training participants.

Her loving kindness, coupled with my students' reflections, has touched my heart so deeply that it propelled me to intentionally find ways to pay it forward. 

One of our highlights this week, 
a visit to Joshua's former piano teacher.


Every time Joshua would sit down to play,
I thought about Mrs. Vaughn.

Five years since he stopped taking lessons from her,
she is about to turn 90 years old and still giving lessons.
So Joshua and I took her some peach muffins
and went for a visit and to play a few songs.
It was incredible, to be able to thank her in this way.
She asked him who composed the {video game} music he played
and wondered if he knew what key he was playing it in.
Then she offered to help him with his sight reading.
Sweetest thing ever.
She even wrote us a follow-up thank you card.


She's an expert Starfish Thrower.


Isn't that a great adaptation of The Starfish Thrower story?

What other ways have we shown loving kindness this week?

*Invited some friends to come swimming.
*Played ball with the kids across the street.
*Drove a friend to her doctor's appointment.
*Called some friends just to check in on them.
*Passed along a book when I finished reading it.
*Took a bunch of cardboard to the recycling bins.
*Offered to be "on call" for Vacation Bible School.
*Met an out-of-town friend and treated her to lunch.
*Donated some gently-used books to the Little Library.
*Made dinner for a friend who's recovering from surgery.
*Followed up a kindness with a handwritten thank-you note.
*Secretly bought breakfast for some unsuspecting colleagues.
*Made this image for a friend who is transitioning to a new job.



No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted {Aesop}.
And throwing those Starfish back into the water?
It makes all the difference to each and every one,
each and every time.







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Compassionate Cartoons

Today I'm excited to showcase the book 


It's a collection of very realistic cartoons like this one,
that really spoke to me and I could totally see using it
as a springboard for a conversation with a child.
{Posted with permission.}

Here now, some highlights from my Q & A
with co-author Kelly Kamowski.

1. Please tell us a little bit about yourself and your journey to date.

I grew up as an Air Force brat and moved a lot. I attended five elementary schools. At one point we lived on Guam. I have my degree in accounting and am a CPA. I worked as an accountant and wrote cartoons at the same time for 25 years. I quit my accounting job after winning $50,000 in a sweepstakes.


I have collaborated with many cartoonists over the years, writing funny cartoons that have been published in places like the Wall St. Journal, Reader’s Digest, and Woman’s World. I don’t draw, just do the writing, since I can only draw stick figures. I have two grown children; my daughter is a paralegal and my son is a LMSW. I got divorced when they were in middle school. We are doing well!

2. So how did your personal experiences shape your decision to work on this book?

I started writing the Compassionate Cartoons when I worked for a nonprofit that helps kids who are dealing with grief due to death and divorce. I went through my divorce while I worked there. I worked for another nonprofit that helps abused and neglected children and also worked as a volunteer on a domestic violence hotline. I was raised to be an empathic person. Our Compassionate Cartoons brand covers many causes and serious topics --- grief, divorce, bullying, fighting cancer, hunger in America, domestic violence, mental health issues, and others. We’ve created cartoons for Good Therapy.org.

3. Why cartoons to address something sad, a loss like separation and divorce?

I actually have two different cartoon brands. At one, my partner and I create color, funny, promotional cartoons that we license to different types of industries for social media, websites, and advertising. Some examples are cartoons about the moving industry, self-storage, insurance, professional organizing, real estate, home staging, and wedding planning. 

The Compassionate Cartoons about Divorce book cartoons have been well-received by collaborative divorce lawyers, therapists, social workers, and people going through divorce.  They are a great resource for getting kids to talk about their feelings. We think of the Compassionate Cartoons as cartoons for the greater good. The world needs more compassion. I like having two different types of cartoons to write. It makes my career more interesting.

4. How do you connect humor and laughter to resilience, grit and growth?

Humor helps people get through the difficult challenges of life. Some of the cartoons aren’t supposed to be funny though. Some are conversation starters and therapeutic, or illustrations depicting serious matters, not so much haha funny cartoons. A picture is worth a thousand words. If you look at our book, some of the cartoons are humorous and some are quite sad. They run the gamut of emotions.

5. What's next for you?


I will continue to run my two companies and cover more subjects. We license the individual cartoons from the book and the cartoons I mentioned about other serious topics and causes. {To license a cartoon, contact me at  kellykamow95@gmail.com } I have a greeting card/meme brand with a Swedish cartoonist I will start marketing soon. Also, I’d like to get a few days off for vacation so I can catch up on my sleep. I’m really far behind!!!!

BIO: Kelly Kamowski has been a published cartoon gag writer for over 25 years. Her collaborations have been published in major publications. She has a funny, industry-specific cartoon company called CMB-Cartoons with former Disney cartoonist, Jerry King. Her Compassionate Cartoons brand is with syndicated cartoonist, Stephanie Piro (Six Chix). Kamowski's day job for over 25 years was working as an accountant in several different industries which provided an abundance of cartoon humor.

Thank you, Kelly, for taking time out to talk with us today.
Good luck with the book as well as with finding that coveted free time.







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Psychological First Aid

Today I'm excited because my friend Amanda Symmes agreed to run with the baton and start writing for Free Spirit's Counselor Corner column when I stepped down; her incredible must-read first post is going viral! 


Click the image to learn more about 

{I am so super proud of her!}

I'm also happy because yesterday I went to a workshop
to learn more about Psychological First Aid
Here are some highlights from my notes:

Psychological First Aid is about understanding
normal reactions to abnormal events. 
It's about looking at the here and now,
the current symptoms as a reaction to what happened
rather than the emotional history of the victim. 
No psych meds are called for after a trauma
unless the person was on them prior to the incident.

Schools are the HUB of the community;
people will gravitate there.
Meet basic needs first; shelter is a primary concern,
followed by food and water.
Dehydration can be a huge problem in trauma respond.
Once a child's physical needs are met,
emotional needs can be addressed. 
Expect 4-6 weeks for normalcy to start to be restored.

Normalcy feels amazing; traumatized people benefit from 
feeling comfortable and familiar.
Allow 24-48 hours before
helping them resume their normal routines.
Every disaster is different ...  and the same;
what we can control is stability and routine.
Today's kids are overexposed and 
images can trigger delayed responses.

During monitoring and surveillance,
be approachable.
Be present with the victims.
Come from a place of love and concern.
Help get them relief from what they are experiencing now.
Trauma victims need a compassionate presence.
Emotions are raw; in loss, the primary emotion is grief, which might present as anger, sadness, agitation, fear. In trauma, thinking is not clear.

Information decreases anxiety;
honestly answer any questions they might have.
Draw a social map; encourage them to 
honor their feelings, their bodies, their experience.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is the #1 treatment for trauma,
but nothing is as effective as social supports.
Put social supports in place so that
trauma victims know they are not alone.
Survivors need empathy from someone who can sit with them,
to understand and accept how they feel.

There is no such thing as closure.
People remember and want to talk about their trauma.
Research is contrary to the "turn them away" mindset.
We must be willing to listen when they're ready to talk.
Use a directive approach:
"We are here to help; is that okay with you?
Where can we start?"
Let them know that they are not alone.
Ask, "Whom can I call for you? Can I stay with you?"

We are NOT diagnosing our 
traumatized kids, just supporting them.
Normalize their feelings: "YOU are not crazy."
The jobs of children are to play and learn;
get them focused on what they need to do.
Help the survivors adapt; break the cultural divide.
Ask: "What's the culture of this system. What are the norms?"


Self-care for the caregiver is essential;.
some shared trauma experiences to beware of include
secondary trauma (picking up your client's trauma),
projective identification (absorbing what's going on with your client),
and compassion fatigue (indifference to the suffering).
The typical responder reply, "I'm fine." 
can be a cover for "I'm not doing this."
So be in touch with what's going on with you
and employ your therapeutic resources as needed.

To make her point stick, our Traumatic Stress Specialist, April Naturale, told us this incredible story of the rescue dogs at Ground Zero. She reported that the dogs were getting depressed because they weren't finding any live bodies, so their handlers laid down so that the dogs could find them, whereby giving them success, purpose. 

April did an amazing job and I feel blessed that she traveled to Houston to share her expertise with us. I'm so grateful to her and to the National Child Traumatic Stress Network for normalizing the work we did after hurricane Harvey. I was actually working in a school where the administration was reticent to openly talk through things, cautious because of fear, I suppose, of the myth that talking about it might make it worse. It felt validating to know that talking about it is, in fact, important to healing and hope in trauma recovery. 

I also feel more competent to render Psychological First Aid 
the next time I'm called to be a first responder.








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After The Fall

Happy Wednesday; today I feel grateful that our friends
at Character.org used this selfie shot to advertise


I totally remember that this was a magical moment in time;
just look at the joy in our smiles.
Will you be going in October?
It'll mark the twenty-fifth anniversary of the Forum experience.
Two and a half decades of celebrating character.
A quarter of a century of showcasing promising practices.

A huge part of that journey down Character Road for me has been
learning that character building is so much more than just
naming and claiming your school's core values.
If it were, then it'd be one and done,
something our district did back in 1987, 
a product rather than a process.
Oh, that's a big piece, for sure, but it's more about how we
weave those values into the very DNA of our school's fabric 
and use them as a roadmap to help us get where we're going.
It's about reducing peer cruelty so children feel safe.
It's about creating a web (where everyone belongs!) of love
where everybody knows they matter,
where they're given a voice and choices,
where they are championed as learners and leaders.
Not just the kids; faculty, staff and stakeholders, too.
Everybody.
A place where shared leadership is a given,
where kindness matters isn't just a slogan on the wall,
where data helps drive decisions. 
It's about using mistakes and failure as opportunities for growth,
it's about picking one another up and when we fall,
it's about stepping in to each other's stories
and listening to really understand rather than just to respond.

It's about getting honest and addressing the elephants in the room.
It's about telling our truth,
lavishly giving grace,
apologizing to right wrongs,
and forgiving to heal when hurts happen.
Schools of character are a rare gift
that don't just happen by chance.
They happen as a result of intentional hard (and heart) work.
Every magical moment 
of every single day.
One of my greatest career joys was leading Westwood Elementary
to a State and then National School of Character distinction.
That's why I'm honored to be in that photograph
as an Ambassador for this year's Forum.

Today I'm also excited about our picture book pick of the week
 that beautifully encapsulates the school of character ideal. 


It tells the story of Humpty Dumpty's return from his famous fall, how he persevered through his fear of heights, worked to reinvent himself, found out the hard way that life begins again only after you get back up, and emerged a better version of himself than he ever imagined possible.

After reading this treasure aloud, have fun making paper airplanes.
Encourage your students to write their YET goals on them.
You could even host a contest, to see which flies the farthest.
Then click {here} for more intriguing integration ideas.

Our chapter book pick for this week also showcases
how a using a growth mindset can pay huge dividends.


This colorful and comprehensive guidebook is chunk full of epic examples of women who have fought against fear and other overwhelming odds to achieve amazing things in the competitive world of athletics. These 101 women changed the face of their games and have put performance values like perseverance, resilience and grit in the spotlight center stage.


Know someone who needs a booster shot of inspiration? Share this awesome Sports Illustrated Kids newcomer with your children, encourage them to find an athlete they admire, and write down the character traits that make their story stand out. Invite them to use these hard-working women as a role model next time they're tempted to quit running the race because an obstacle gets in their way.

Click image for source.

Now that's a character ideal that'll 
get back up
 and score a goal toward success 
every time.






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One Shepherd, One Fold

Happy Father's Day weekend.
Today I'm excited because soon I'll be taking this beautiful print
to the frame shop so that it can hang in our home.
It was a gift from the painter's daughter,
whose children go to the school I recently retired from.

One Fold, One Shepherd by Larry Dyke
When she presented it to me with her daughter Grace,
she said it reminded her of the role of a school counselor
as a shepherd for their sheep.
She thanked me for my service to our fold, and added that
they also hoped that the Fall foliage her father had painted
would remind me of Wisconsin and comfort me
on days when I was feeling homesick.
Isn't that the most thoughtful, heartfelt present?

As I reflect on retiring, I'm working with intention
to focus on the goodto help the hurts heal more quickly.

Hurts like bidding my sheep farewell.
Like saying so long to my school family.
Like turning in my laptop and my keys.
Like my Principal's hard truth that people are replaceable 
and then meeting my young replacement at school yesterday.
Like closing that door and driving away for the last time.

And since appreciations have been known to melt resentments away, I've been fervently filling up my Proverbs journal this past week with the kind thoughts, feelings, affirmations and gratitude that stakeholders have shared with me.


It'll be a keepsake for my Smile File
that's sure to make my own children smile one day
as they remember who I was and what mattered to me.

As my days in FISD came to a close, 
I received this retirement plaque Tuesdayafternoon; 
isn't it engraved so elegantly?


It was handed to me thinly wrapped in cold styrofoam
at the district office when I went to turn in my TRS Form 7,
by a lady I didn't recognize,
with the words: Here's your plaque.
Wait, what?
As I sat alone, by myself, and pulled it from its wrapper,
I couldn't help but muse that I would have done this differently.
A whole lot differently.
I would have tried to make it something really special
to match the special years I spent here.

But I'm so grateful for a 25-year-long opportunity 
to grow alongside of and serve my sheep in FISD 
that I'm choosing not to let my plaque-receiving expectations
cloud the beauty of the gift it represents,
a quarter of a century of them trusting me to be the shepherd, 
to guide, nurture, and love their precious flock.

At the end of the day, what truly matters is that 
I was blessed to be the one 
to so many, for so long.
Now that's a present that will keep on giving.







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Cool To Be Kind

Happy Sunday; is it really June 10th already?
Yesterday I gave a podcast interview;


what fun to share my story with The Cutting Edge Counselor.
Click the image or the link above to listen in.
I'm so grateful to counselors like Alaina
who are always looking for and finding creative ways
to reach out, connect and grow.

The last Monday of school, my last guidance lesson
brought this special group of learners to Leadership Central.
We sang and laughed and played together.


Then we read Crunch, The Shy Dinosaur by Cirocco Dunlap.


This engaging, interactive newcomer
utilizes a clever and hilarious narrator to
weave in emotions, mindfulness, music,
and even a little movement
for a total physical response (TPR) experience.
If you don't know this book yet, 
do yourself a favor and check it out.
I found my copy at our local Barnes & Noble.
It's my summertime picture book pick of the week.

My chapter book pick is It's Cool To Be Kind by Linnea McFadden.


Linnea sent two copies of this gem to us, one for me and one for Jax, right after hurricane Harvey hit and, believe it or not, I never got around to reading it until just now. Jax and Miley, who checked out the book from my office, both loved it, so I knew I would, too. Its message is simply powerful: It's cool to be kind

I especially love that the author spotlights how a trusted adult, like a school counselor, can help mediate a problem by intentionally elevating empathy to mobilize compassion and kindness. We can overcome so many hurdles by opening up the lines of communication in a safe space to share our thoughts and feelings. Add this one to your chapter-book collection and join the Cool To Be Kind movement today! 

After reading Linnea's book, I decided to share this
banner from my office with a cyberspace collaborator.


I had it made last summer by Sketchnote artist Julie Woodard
and it hung in our learning space until I didn't need it anymore.
Now it's making its home in Keller, TX where Mrs. Chandler
will put it in her fifth-grade classroom at her new school.

Doesn't she have the most beautiful smile ever?

Not only is it cool to be kind, 
but it feels incredibly AmAzInG, too.

How will you stay cool with kindness this summer?







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