8.20.2017

When Silence Is Deafening

Whoever coined the phrase silence is golden probably didn't really know what it feels like to come home to an empty house, to start life as empty nesters.

They probably never experienced the deafening silence
of waiting to hear the whistling from your child's bedroom down the hall but hearing the sniffles of your husband's deep sadness instead. I don't guess it's entirely their fault, because sometimes silence can be golden, but today, 
it's really painful. And painfully real.
We are in a season of letting go.
And letting go can be really hard.


But they are in a season of new beginnings.
Joshua is starting his undergrad work at Texas A & M,
and Jacob is continuing there as a graduate student.
And new beginnings can be really exciting and energizing.
Just look at the contagious smiles on their faces.
So how can we possibly be feeling so ... empty tonight?
It's an oxymoron, a bittersweet season, at once happy and sad.
We are delighted for them, of course,
but our new normal sounds and feels strangely silent.
At least for the time being.
No local school events that we need to attend.
No video games that need to be turned off.
No dirty clothes that need to be picked up.  

All of those lasts we were checking off finally finished
and tonight we're experiencing a return
to where we first started. 
We're all by ourselves.
Just the two of us.
Alone. Together.
In our calm and quiet house.
With only each other.
And our cat.
In the loud silence.

At least for now.

I imagine there'll be more tears.
Lots of them.
And melancholy.
Plenty of it.
Maybe even some sleepless nights
as we wrestle with our uncomfortable feelings.
And then, I'm told, it'll be okay.
Fun, even, to be back to just us again.

I suppose it's all about how we choose to look at it.

So onward into this chapter of our journey we go,
our hearts wide opened albeit a bit bruised.

In a providential twist today, after we got Joshua moved in to his dorm and while we were killing time waiting for our lunch place to open, we discovered this adorable book in the bargain bin at HEB. 

Click the image to hear the book on YouTube.
And it perfectly complements today's lesson 
of letting go gracefully.

With every difficult thing that happens on one page, 
an equally good thing is looming around the corner on the next.

Check out these examples: 

It's never fun when you break a toy ...
but you'll have fun fixing it with Grandpa. 

It's the worst to have wet shoes ...
but it's the best to go barefoot.

So here's my page with one of these powerful reframes:

It feels really lonely to say good-bye and let our boys go ...
but we're lucky to love them so much that it hurts this badly.

This Jarrett J. Krosoczka treasure will supercharge your efforts
to unlock fixed mindsets, nurture positive attitudes, build resilience and foster grit in your littlest learners.

Now if you'll excuse me, here come the tears again.
Where did I put that tissue box?






3 comments:

  1. I truly understand the feeling.... You are fortunate to have a loving husband by your side. I have the nest all to myself. The tears become less as you see your sons bloom. The missimg part...well, that one never goes away. Sending a great big hug.

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  2. Imagine how great it will be to have all of your kids back under your roof again for Christmas! You will really treasure that. I also found the balloon book in the bargain bin (at the very back of the store) at our local grocer, Albertson's! I'm not sure how it ended up there because it is a GEM! Hugs from across the miles.

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