Practicing Kindness

Happy September; today I'm excited because I'm back home after an incredible week-long Character Strong tour up in the Pacific Northwest. 

The glorious sunsets up there . . .

will take your breath away.

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Grateful and Wonder-FULL

Today I'm grateful because I was invited to host my first webinar on Wednesday, for a group of superhero counselors in Iowa. It was a fun challenge, to prepare and share some strategies for supercharging our character building using this medium. Click the image below to check it out. 

I'm also thankful to be on Thanksgiving break. After taking care of some car maintenance this morning, I treated myself to the movie Wonder.

Click to image for a freebie bookmark download from Presto Plans.

I knew I'd love the movie based on its trailer.

Julia Roberts, Owen Wilson, and a space-boy named Auggie;

can you say magic formula?

But since I haven't read the novel ... yet ... I had no way to prepare

for the different layers as the onion unpeeled.

{I use the onion metaphor purposefully because of all of the tears.}

I felt great empathy for and fully connected

with the mom's story,

with dad's story, 

with Via's story,

with Miranda's story,

and with Jack's story.

Layer after layer, so much suffering and sadness.

So much loss and loneliness.

So much fear and frustration.

Life can be really hard.

Their conflicts reminded me of what I'm blessed to do every day,

to step into the stories of our students

and to help them process their feelings,

cope with their situations,

and garner up the grit and grace they'll need

to face whatever comes their way.

I get to comfort and to care for them,

to help make life a little less difficult to digest.

Moment by moment,

day by day,

season by season.

And while we haven't ever had a child with Auggie's health challenges,

we do have children like him.

Children who face adversity.

Children whose families struggle.

Children whose lives really challenge them.

They deal with difficulties like 

divorce, 

alcoholism, 

incarceration,

which result in increased worry, anxiety, and stress.

And that's without a disability or syndrome to manage.

Imagine being taunted on top of that

for things you could do nothing about.

I couldn't catch my breath when Auggie was being teased.

I found myself frustrated, incensed even,

that the school didn't do more to intervene,

that Auggie had to suffer in silence.

And then I felt relieved that despite her own difficulties,

Auggie's sister stepped in to assure him that, no matter what,

they would always be each other's friend.

Because everyone wants to belong to someone.

No one wants to go it alone.

I'm so thankful for the friends who refused to judge Auggie at face value, 

those who looked deeper to see instead the gift his heart held.

And I'm glad that the school finally addressed the bullying behaviors and said out loud that it was not okay, that how we treat each other matters, 

that empathy, compassion and kindness matter.

Do you know which three traits that bully averters have in common? 

Self-regulation, optimism, and hope.

Sounds like Auggie and his friend Summer.

If you're weaving this novel into your curriculum,

author Trudy Lugwig has some awesome suggestions {here}.

Click the image to buy these stickers.

I left the movies this afternoon feeling Wonder-full

because, in the end, kindness came to the rescue.

It won.

Because when we choose kind, 

we'll always be right.

That might be why we're called human kind. 

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Connecting Kindness

Today my heart is so incredibly happy because I just spent three glorious days in Washington DC at the Character.org National Forum on Character Education, where I got to serve as their first-ever guest MC.

I flew to DC with this heartwarming realistic fiction novel, 

kindly sent to me by the publisher, in hand ...

Click the image for more info.

... and I landed in DC with it imprinted deeply onto my heart.

As I devoured Maddie's story on the plane, I cried.

Twice.

Like big crocodile tears.

Tears of pain because of the pain no child should have to endure

and the connection to one of my own students this year

who is terminally ill with a brain dystrophy.

And then tears of joy because that resilient,

compassionate child decides to forgive, give grace,

and show kindness in an incredibly difficult social situation.

I mustache that you grab your tissues and check out this kindness giant by Chad Morris and Shelly Brown; when you do, please check back in and let us know what you thought about Maddie and her journey.

 My flight arrived in time for the last little bit of an afternoon workshop, registration, and a chance to reconnect over dinner with some friends from Dallas over an early dinner. My official duties would start by 7:30 am Friday morning, so I called it an early night.

Friday brought one joy after another.

This year's Forum was huge.

766 character educator friends.

23 states.

10 nations.

To illustrate the importance of moving from me to we, I took the mic and immediately asked some counseling friends from Clear Creek ISD to join me on stage to sing You Are My Sunshine. 

It was a powerful moment I will never forget and I will forever be grateful to these five peacemakers for showing conference-goers that together we're better.

After a full day of fun soaking in knowledge, wisdom and insight with Michele Borba, Byron Garrett, and my new friend Houston Kraft, it was time for the Promising Practices workshop. After all of the winners were announced but before I went back to the stage to introduce the Sandy Award, it came to my attention that we'd forgotten to announce the names of a few of our winners. So I took down their information, apologized for our oversight and was about to call for the thunderous applause that they deserved when a disturbance in the crowd led me to believe that there may be a few more schools to recognize. 

It was clear that a big decision needed to be made. 

By me. 

On my own. 

For the good of the group. 

So I called an audible and made this announcement:

 If your school's name was left off of the list, please come on up to the stage so that we can celebrate your school and your Promising Practice.

As they lined up, I was really hoping I had done the right thing.

As I listened to them announce their school's name and watched the school pride ooze from their very cores,

I knew I had.

I reconnected with my book's publisher and editor for dinner that night, and slept really, really well satisfied by how the day had gone.

On Saturday, up early again, this time to set the tables

with Kind Coins cards from our friends at Kids For Peace.

Along with that box of cards, more kindness; 

a copy of Do The Kind Thing and some pom pons for me.

Then, I got to introduce my audience to Jet Stream Jax

and play the Kind Coins video clip.

And they fell in love!

Then, more inspirational workshops, including this one 

by Motivational Ninja Joe Beckman.

Joe Beckman moved us by inviting a few of us

to dance The Cupid Shuffle with him. 

Check out those smooth moves!

His message? Humans thrive on connection.

Here's a brilliant suggestion I hope we'll try:

And finally, the National Schools of Character luncheon

where we honored Clear Lake Elementary, Ward Elementary,

and Mossman Elementary from our neighboring towns.

After Dara Feldman's riveting afternoon keynote,

I headed to the airport for my 4:55 pm flight.

Turns out, it would carry some Korean War Veterans

so we were treated to a mail roll call,

singing the Aggie War hymn,

and a water salute at landing.

All of us connected by kindness.

In unity.

As one.

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Big Bucket, Big Sky

Today I'm feeling blessed beyond words, in part because of the best Bucket Filling interaction ever that happened last week, between one of our new third graders and me. He stopped by the window sill where I sit every morning {with my ukulele, surrounded by my band of musical friends} and said, 

"Hey, you're getting pretty good at that!"  

I responded with, "Wow, thanks. That compliment overflows my bucket!" and, without missing a beat, he pulled what appeared to be an imaginary bucket from his pocket and replied, "Here's a bigger bucket for you." 

Perfect timing, too, because I needed that bigger bucket 

under the big sky in Montana this week!

So before I get to the point of today's post, 

let me share a few character cam shots of the breathtaking beauty.

The fog blankets the terrain as we head into

Custer National Forest,

the birds flit from pillar to post, 

and a red fox camouflages against the rocky road. 

We crossed over into Wyoming at some point;

and the picturesque scenery gave me pause.

Fall foliage peeking through ...

paints a colorful canvas along the Creek in Red Lodge.

Did I mention that my bucket is overflowing with peace, hope & joy?

And the restorative road trip wasn't even the best part.

Meet Tanya, Julie & Jeri, my three new friends from Billings Public Schools.

If you've been a visitor at the Corner for awhile, you already know Tanya from her guest posts about Empathy in a (Shoe) Box, Being Wendy, Fr(I) Statements and Vision Boards. Well, she got the idea that she'd like for me to come to her district to do some training, so this determined Montana Counselor of the Year wrote a grant last Fall and, voila, in March I got an email from her, asking me to pack my bags. We set my visit for September 22nd, Character Day 2016,

 and what a day of character development it was. 

I started the morning singing, dancing, laughing and building character with about thirty counselors, principals and administrators, then spent the afternoon doing much of the same with the combined faculties of Highland Elementary and Boulder Elementary. On Thursday night, I got to hang out with about fifty new friends at Family Character Night.

We sang together.

We read Flight School by Lita Judge.

And we talked about the power of that one little word: YET.

As I flashed up this picture from my friend Kristina, whose fifth grade teachers at Whitcomb Elementary made this visual display with the students' SMART goals for the year, I asked the children to share out loud something they can't do or haven't done yet so that we, as a group, could encourage them to keep on growing by chanting the word YET. Engagement and emotion grew as our growth-mindset Padawans shared their authentic answers:

I can't dance ... YET.

I can't bake a cake ... YET.

I can't play the ukulele ... YET.

I haven't found a friend ... YET.

Tears came when the Principal at Boulder Elementary sent me this note and explained that first thing next morning, one of those Padawans was waiting at her door, to share this thank-you treasure:

And, because of your note, Brady, and these kind comments

from workshop participants ~

This is how Professional Development is supposed to be.

I could have listened to you all day.

Just the shot of inspiration I needed.

I loved everything you had to say.

It was very good and really opened my own mind-set.

I learned so much; what a great presentation.

~ my bucket continues to overflow

bigger than Montana's big blue sky.

And the rainbow on the way home, a promise ...

that one day my plans (and a plane) would take me back in that direction.

Thank you, Tanya and Billings Education Foundation, for giving me this 
once-in-a-lifetime, picture-perfect opportunity.

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Mindset Matters

Happy March.

Today I'm excited because my guest post on resilience is now live; click the graphic below to go to Free Spirit Press and read all about it. 

I'm also delighted that I've been invited to present a parenting workshop on Mindset tonight in a neighboring district.

Click {here} to view and/or download the handout.

I use this tangible to show what our brains look like
when they're in fixed mindset mode and growth!

Here's a guest blog post at Free Spirit if you want more info.
And a bulletin board we used to unlock fixed beliefs:

Here's one of the slides I love to share:

Want more Mindset info? Check out my

Growth Mindset Pinterest page {here}.

One final note to my faithful readers: Today marks post number 1300 at The Corner On Character. That being the case, it's nearly impossible to make sure that links that are live when I post will continue to work in the days, months, and years ahead. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause as you connect to learn and grow with us.

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Singing My Song

Today I'm excited because the leaf-sized hearts, filled with the things we're grateful for, are filling up this tree in the entrance to our school. 

The most beautiful, heartfelt things. 

Families & friends. 

Sunshine & rain. 

God & Jesus. 

Gratitude, from the bottom of our students' hearts. 

I can't wait to share a picture of it once it's complete.

I'm also eager to share this recap of my visit to

Charlotte Anderson Elementary in Arlington, Texas, last week.

I arrived on Thursday evening in time for Family Character Night. Picture the scene: 50 families coming together for dinner, for a singing performance by their kids, and for some time with an author and character educator, me. The coolest part is that those angelic voices were singing one of my songs. 

On stage. 

Live. 

To me.

I wish you could have been there to hear them singing my song, 

the one called Talk, Walk, Then Tell, 

set to the music of The Chicken Dance:

If a bully bothers you, 

and you don't know what to do,

out at recess or in school,

talk, walk, then tell.

I'll be a buddy, not a bully.

I'll be a friend and take a stand.

I can swarm or go get a grown-up,

so we can all lend a helping hand.

What an honor, to have those superheroes singing my song. It was a hard act to follow, that's for sure. For my part of the program, I chose to read aloud Maria Dismondy's Chocolate Milk Por Favor, and intersperse the text with a few of my other poems, ditties, and songs. I drew a parallel between my story about Carlos (how he came to live on our farm not knowing a lick of English and how his predicament taught me empathy) and Gabe in Maria's masterpiece. When I'd finished, a young boy came to thank me, and his mom shared that that was his story just two years prior, coming to America to school and not speaking the language. Then she asked if she could take a picture of her children with me. 

Be still my beating heart.

Friday was equally as heartwarming. I played my ukulele as students arrived at school. They'd stop to talk - Thank you for the music. - and ask questions - Do you get paid to play that for us? and more questions - Wait, are you the author? And I felt right at home, in my element. 

Kindness: The writing's on the wall at CAE.

Routines changed a bit that morning because the school was on an early dismissal schedule that day but it didn't seem to phase the kiddos one bit. I met them in the gym where they were sitting respectfully and the Art teacher and I led an impromptu ukulele-guitar sing-along using the song You Are My Sunshine. Such an AmAzInG way to launch into a fantastic Friday!

Don't you love the kid-friendly LOOK?

I spent two hours with the Character Crew before being interviewed by this Viking News Network Crew. Here are two excerpts from that time with them; prepare to be WoWed by these articulate budding reporters.

I truly could have visited with them all afternoon, without question. After their dismissal and our lunch, I led a two-hour afternoon session with the staff on school climate. Before I was whisked away to the airport, I was given a very special gift, one that I'll never forget. The CAE school family has commissioned a Buddy Bench to be built and installed on their playground in my honor. Such a generous gesture of caring, support, kindness, enthusiasm and love.

Oh yeah, they're singing my song alright.

Who's singing your song?

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Sometimes It's Frightening

Today I was telling my students the story of how teacher-authors Dave and Shelley Burgess bought us ten ukuleles for our UKE lab when one of them said, "That's so generous." Then he added, "Why would they do that for us?"

I explained that we'd connected on Twitter and that our teachers, as a staff, are studying Teach Like A Pirate this year. I told them that they love it when educators use hooks, strategies to engage and excite students. For fun, I asked my students what hooks they've noticed that I use. And I loved hearing their answers:

*puppets

*friendliness

*kindness

*a smile

*forgiveness

*stations

*ukuleles

*music

*fun games

*funny-ness (yes, humor is a hook!)

It warmed my heart. I especially liked the forgiveness comment, until the student further explained that my classroom is a place where it's okay to make mistakes.

Wait, what? Aren't all classrooms just mistake-making labs?

 Here's a non-negotiable I've learned in my 32 years of service:

Our kids deserve a safe environment to engage, explore and create.

A school where they're reeled in, hook, line, and sinker.

A place where they're firmly planted with permission to bloom and grow. 

In my work, I've had the pleasure over the years of visiting lots and lots of schools where I get to see AmAzInG things happening. With that privilege, I also see lots and lots of areas for improvement and growth. I've witnessed teachers who at frustration point resort to yelling so bad that a student once shared that, "Sometimes it's frightening." My own son experienced this in sixth grade, a scolding so fierce that he was still visibly shaking with fear after school. He stayed scared for days. And weeks. 

The respect we think we're demanding when we yell isn't respect at all. 

It's just fear. 

Don't our kids deserve better than this?

With so many positive approaches to classroom connections and management, two of which include Capturing Kids Hearts and Responsive Classroom Morning Meetings, there's really no need for an educator to be reduced to belittling, to shaming, to screaming. Ever. In fact, when we yell at kids, guess what they learn? Yep, they learn that yelling is okay. 

That yelling will help solve our problems. 

That yelling is an appropriate way to respond to our frustration. 

Or to get our needs met.

Simply put, they learn to yell.

Let me say it one more time: 

 Our kids deserve better.

Click for source ~ @BethHouf blog

 So there you have it, one of the reasons I'm so passionate about finding hooks that invite kids in, and helping reduce the undesirable practices that might chase them away. I don't ever want to hear the words "Sometimes it's frightening" at our school, on my watch. 

Tomorrow I get a chance to help with some Character Counts! implementation training in Angleton. Then next week, I'm headed to the Dallas area to Mansfield ISD to lead a Family Character Night workshop and then work with the school family at Charlotte Anderson Elementary, and I can't wait. I am super proud of the commitment of both of these districts to a creating a caring climate and I'm honored that they'd let me help them build a brighter and better tomorrow.

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Lunch 'n Learn

While chatting on Twitter early last June, someone mentioned hosting a brown bag Lunch 'n Learn. That's my sort of thing, I remember thinking, mostly {if I'm being completely honest} because I liked the way the alliteration made the idea to gather and grow during lunch sound more appealing. Tasty, even. 

The very next day I went walking with my friend April and we started cooking on an idea for this year's first Lunch 'n Learn at Bales.

Our topic would be Morning Meeting and I would invite someone with some experience, say a veteran teacher like April, to share her expertise. To sweeten the invitation for both the speaker and my staff, I'd even offer to make the lunch, {How do chicken salad sandwiches sound?} with the help of a few of my favorite volunteers, of course. Well, that created a win-win, and April's presentation last Friday was AmAzInG.

She talked about her roots as a pioneer, the lone teacher in her building, actually, who was doing a morning meeting when she started teaching twenty years ago. She said it transformed her teaching. And she fondly reminisced about how she recruited a few other teachers to try it, just by modeling how tightly it connected her class. 

She talked about the why behind the coveted circle time 

and she shared benefits of the four (now five) parts to each meeting.

She gave some examples of how her class meetings 

would look, sound & feel.

And she shared resources ... 

to enrich our Morning Meeting ritual and experience.

 So today I'm grateful, that April would share her time and talent with us, and that some of our teachers would give up their duty-free lunchtime to learn and grow.

The important take-away?
You may think you don't have time, but you
do have time. And it'll be a valuable investment!

Next up, a Lunch 'n Learn for caregivers? 

Who knows!

Have you ever hosted a Lunch 'n Learn at your school?

If so, we'd love to read your reflections in the comments.

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