Vulnerability: What's Trust Got To Do With It?

Today I'm excited because Free Spirit has released its top blog posts for 2017 and two of mine are on this list; I'm so grateful to be a guest author for them.

I've been fighting a chest cold, which has given me a lot of time for reflection. During my couch coma and more Hallmark movies than I ever thought possible, one thing I kept thinking about is trust.

Maybe it's because my one little word for 2018 is vulnerable.

Vulnerability.

It makes me a little nervous, to dig deeper into the concept

behind that word and its connection to the word trust.

Trusting can be unnerving.

And yet we're called to trust all the time. 

The other day, for example, when I needed my bangs trimmed.

My regular stylist is on recovery from knee surgery,

so I phoned my former stylist,

who scheduled me with her new coworker.

I sat there in her chair so vulnerable

as she took her scissors to my hair.

Trust.

There was nothing else I could do, but trust.

She seemed to understand what I wanted, 

but I was a nervous wreck,

holding my breath as locks of hair fell from my forehead.

It can be so hard to trust.

And that's just a small thing, like bangs.

What about when the stakes are bigger,

like in a relationship.

At home.

At work.

With students, neighbors, friends.

With strangers, even.

It begs the question:

Does trust always have to be earned

or is it possible to take a leap of faith

and just trust?

Dr. Brené Brown says this about trust and vulnerability:

Trust is a product of vulnerability that grows over time

 and requires work, attention and full engagement.

Trust.

It takes work.

It needs attention.

And it requires full engagement.

It's so important.

And really worthwhile.

I'm told there's a certain strength in vulnerability.

So here we go, head first into 2018.

I'm ready and eager to learn more about being vulnerable.

I can't wait to see what happens to my willingness to trust.

What's your one word for the upcoming year?

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Because I Said I Would

What an exciting and very busy week this has been. On Monday I took time out for self-care by leading a WellBEing Workshop with the counselors in Pearland ISD just down the road; what a booster shot of restoration and joy that was! 

They were really good sports because I asked them not only to draw a picture on paper plates atop their heads ...  

but also to guess which card they were holding on their foreheads.  

Click the pictures for those ideas we used to help them BE childlike!

We celebrated John's birthday on Tuesday and Joshua will turn 18 tomorrow. How can our baby boy, the third in our trilogy, be voting age? It truly seems like he was just in elementary school with me at Westwood, where he was learning to read and write and make friends and be a kind kid.

And loosely speaking of ABCs, my post on assessing social-emotional learning and growth at Free Spirit Press went live {here} yesterday.

Looking forward, I am headed back into leadership classes and Social Stations this next week. Since class will have a trustworthiness theme, we'll start with writing promise cards to attach to this amazing because I said I would promise banner. I can't wait to find out what our superheroes want to promise. 

Our other Social Stations will include a Trust Fall, a friendship song in the ukulele lab, a friendship clip with reflections, Scramble Square puzzles, Puppet role plays, and Friendship Cootie Catchers. It promises to be great fun.

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A Stronger Song

I almost didn't go to church this morning, because it's a holiday weekend here, and I was feeling kind of lazy. But we're starting a Karen Kingsbury book study and I'd invited my friend Carol to join me for our Sunday School class so I went, because I said I would. And I'm so glad I did, because our teacher shared this video clip, which really has me thinking, reflecting, and wondering.

It's so interesting, the two versions of Amazing Grace that this talented music director sang. The first one was pretty textbook, safe and clean. But when the host gives him a new perspective from which to sing it and couples it with his permission to bring it, his voice amplifies and he sings with incredible passion.

So today's question is this: What makes your song better?

Is it trust? A willingness to be vulnerable? Knowing your why?

Is it a safe place? Community? Unconditional positive regard?

Lately I've been thinking a lot about my recovery from being hit 

by that drunk driver because that life-changing event ended up 

strengthening my song.

It taught me to slow down and savor, 

it taught me to be grateful in all things, 

and it taught me to forgive. 

Even though it was a dark season of panic and pain,

the whole ordeal held an opportunity,

the burden hid a blessing.

I just had to be willing to look for it

and be ready to recognize the gift when it found me.

It took a lot of patience, persistence and perseverance;

sometimes more than I thought I could muster. 

But it was totally worth the work.

Liz Murray had this to say about staying the course:

It takes courage to change our song,

to trust enough to leave the script,

to share our music with passion,

to sing it out for the whole world to hear. 

How will you sing a stronger song today? Tomorrow?
This week? This month? This year?

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Compassion Just A Breath Away

Today I'm delighted to again be linking up with a passionate group of bloggers, one-thousand strong, to help educate and equip as we move from cruelty to compassion, for one another and for ourselves. {#1000speak}

Click graphic to read all of these amazing posts!

My first job after I left secondary education was counseling fifth and sixth graders at Jamison Middle School. I was replacing Marsha, a well-respected counselor who was retiring after many years with that school family. She helped me make that transition in so very many ways, but the most powerful thing she said is this:

Hurt kids hurt kids.

Her wisdom made me wonder ~ If we could teach children how to process those hurts in a healthier, more helpful way, could we, then, keep bullying behaviors at bay? It would take intentional work, diligent hard work front-loading, but wouldn't the pay off exceed the cost? Convinced that it would, that November I found myself at a Character Counts! Character Development Seminar to find out how. How do we teach values like fairness, caring, trustworthiness and respect to all students, even those who come to us broken and hurting? And as I continue to research and refine what I do to help build character in the children whom I'm blessed to counsel, I seek out experts and glean nuggets from their work:

Dr. Michele Borba: The Essential 6 Rs of Bullying Prevention 

Free Spirit Press: A Leader's Guide to Good-bye Bully Machine 

Author Trudy Ludwig's Bullying Basics 

8 Ways You May Be Encouraging Your Child To Be A Bully

Huffington Post: On Bullying

Ambassadors 4 Kids Club Resources

There's a plethora of posts out there that tell us what not to do, but to me the more helpful resources are the ones that tell us what to do. How can we be proactive instead of being forced to be reactive? How can we prevent so that we don't need intervention? How can we live what Frederick Douglass so eloquently expressed: It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. 
{And women.} Amen!

Then, as I was reflecting on the awesome calling that character coaching is, this clip about mindfulness and self-care crosses my path. Coincidence? I think not. We can't care for hurting children when we, ourselves, are hurting. 
Put your own oxygen mask on first. 
Sound familiar? Counterintuitive, I know, but oh, so important
and such a beautiful metaphor for life. 

Click graphic for source {and inspiration}!

So get yourself some herbal tea or a bottle of water, put your feet into a basin of hot water with some scented epson salts, carve out 15 minutes of quiet time, and prepare to enjoy what Dr. Romie has to say about the power of mindfulness 
to build self-compassion.

How would teaching this to our littles

empower them to spread compassion when they're big?

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Name That Bird

Today I'm excited because I went birding for the first time ever.

But first things first ... congratulations Karen ... the Gruener Generator selected your name from the comments yesterday ... and you've got a signed copy of 

What's Under Your Cape? coming your way. I'll be in touch to get your postal address soon.

Now about that bird trip; how many of these feathered friends can you identify? 

And does that change if they're flying rather than perched? 

What about if they're male or female? 

Juvenile or adult?

My mind's on overload with the new information I took in today; guess how many species our guide helped us find and identify? Seventy one! Turns out winter birding can be pretty fruitful because the absence of leaves on the trees makes them easier to find. We spotted lots of ducks, geese, and hawks for sure, but we also saw some song birds like those pictured on my magnetic souvenir: Northern Cardinal, Robin, Gold Finch, Red-winged Blackbird, Eastern Bluebird. 

My favorite had to be the Vermillion Flycatcher, in part because it's one we knew was around but had missed ... twice. First we were told there'd been a sighting earlier this morning before we'd arrived at the Visitors' Center, then on our way out, we were told that ten minutes after our departure, that beauty had been spotted again. We watched and waited before deciding it was time to leave ... and as we drove off, sure enough, there is was, as if to thank us for our patience and gift us with a parting dance, showing off its brilliance and splendor. 

Have you ever seen this magnificent male specimen?

Click for source.

Some others that amazed me include the Eastern Phoebe, the Crested Cara Cara, the juvenile Bald Eagle, Meadowlark, the Roseate Spoonbill, the American Widgeon, the Loggerhead Shrike, White-tailed Kite, a Vesper Sparrow.

As a bonus, we also got to watch two river otters playfully splashing around ... and an alligator {yikes!}.

And the whole time we were learning from our gracious and knowledgeable host Bill, I kept reflecting on the lessons we can learn from the birds, based on the lyrics of a church song from my childhood:
Look at the birds in the air ...  they neither sow nor reap. 

 Oh, to be more like those birds,

to fly through life so effortlessly and without worry.

How did you spend this last Saturday of January?

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Hungry To Be A Hero

Today I'm thinking about ordinary people

doing extraordinary things.

Look at the card I found at the Post Office

that reminded me of my book cover:

HERO is such a big word ... you wear it well.

Do you know someone who wears that word well?

Meet Sofia from the upcoming Flashlight Press release 

Maddi's Fridge by Lois Brandt.

Sofia can't help but want to help when she sees

that Maddi's refrigerator is empty.

But, slightly embarrassed by their plight, 

Maddi makes Sofia promise not to tell.

Anyone.

Not even her mom.

So Sofia uses her problem-solving superpowers ...

to no avail.

She eventually realizes that nothing will be as powerful 

as reporting that need to an adult like her mom.

So that they can work together to find a solution.

But what will happen to these BFFs

once that promise is broken?

I find it increasingly important to give students 

dilemmas like these to chew on.

It's especially difficult when two values collide.

Sofia wants to keep her promise and guard her friend's secret,

but she also wants to right a wrong and help out.

One in five children may not always have enough to eat.

Now that's a problem!

This tasty morsel can certainly inspire

your superheroes soar to new heights

and help combat hunger along the way!

 Visit Maddi's Empty Fridge page for enrichment ideas.

Then create an action plan and do something.

Make treat bags for the homeless population.

Put extra bottles of water in your car to give out.

Assemble hygiene kits to accompany the food and water.

Donate regularly to a local food pantry.

Check at your local school to see if they participate in 

the Backpack Buddy Program. Offer to help!

Want more ways to extend this treasure?

Visit Pennies of Time for ideas on helping the homeless {here}.

Check out the Moms Fighting Hunger Facebook page {here}.

Fight hunger with a heaping helping of resources 

at a Childhood Beckons blog hop {here}.
Learn more about Houston's meals-on-wheels for preK kids {here}.
Visit the Mercy Tree {here}.
And see about sharing your garden bounty {here}.

September is Hunger Action Month, the perfect time

to serve up this superhero's story. 

Pre-order your copy today.

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PPBF: Maurice's Valises

Today's PPBF - the last until September - is actually a new series for which I've been helping write teacher activities, so you can imagine that it's a product I firmly enjoy and endorse!

Title: Maurice's Valises: Moral Tails in an Immoral World

Author: J.S. Friedman

Illustrator: Chris Beatrice

Publisher: Mouse Prints Press

Date: September 3, 2013

Suitable for ages: K-grade 4

Fiction

Themes: integrity, empathy, honesty, trust

Brief Synopsis: Travel with Maurice, the mouse, as his journeys take him through the fables. In the first of this book's series, Maurice, a master storyteller, recounts his story of The Rat Who Cried Skunk, a nice parallel to the Aesop's Fable, The Boy Who Cried Wolf, to help his offspring learn the value of telling the truth.

Opening pages: Since my office is being cleaned for the summer, I'm unable to get to my copy of the book so that I can share the opening pages.

Resources:  Visit the author's website {here}.

Activity ideas and an App for adults {here}.

Check out the book's Facebook page {here}.

Enjoy the illustrator's beautiful work {here}.

Download it or listen to a sample at iTunes {here}.

Using a double bubble graphic organizer, compare and contrast Aesop's The Boy Who Cried Wolf with the skunk tale in this story.

Why I like this book: I find it delightful revisiting the old fables coupled with this author's entertaining twists through the eyes of a Mouse. New vocabulary introduced and the moral scrolls both cleverly tie the present back to the past. The valise totally lends itself to a discussion about a Character Case, so my activity suggestions {available soon} revolve around what a student would put in his/her character case were they to travel the world like Maurice. I can see it being used as a wonderful springboard for cultural integration as well.

Check out this series; 

I think you'll enjoy this Mentor Mouse 

and his lessons learned.

**************************

Since Father's Day is just around the corner, 

I wanted to take this opportunity to share a recent father-child outing. Here's a seven-minute musical clip from a small polka band that John put together for the local German Restaurant.

Enjoy John Loessin on trombone,

My husband on tuba, 

our son, Jacob, on trumpet,

and our daughter, Kaitlyn, on clarinet.

Notice that in the last song, a K student from my school

tried his hand at directing, then came back with 

a dollar looking for "the money jar." It was tooooooo cute!

Then visit our friends at Happify to see the interesting facts 

that they shared on their Dad's Infographic.

I'm going off the grid for a little bit, so

here's to all the Dandy Dads out there; 

enJOY your special day on Sunday!

11

Crucial Friends

Warning: Today's post will be a bit more 
philosophical, 
reflective, 
spiritual even 
than usual.
But it's what's on my heart and mind.

Sometimes we wait for God to do something ... anything ...

to help us through our trials and tribulations ...

... because life is hard. Really hard. 

{What's on your plate today?

And what's your plan?}

But here's what I'm finding ... it's not about our plan.

We can't go it alone. We just can't.

But I have good news!

God is doing something ... 

every minute of every day.

Every time He sends someone to support me.

A colleague.

A parent.

A friend.

A student.

A neighbor.

A family member.

And those crucial friends, those gifts from God, were called to do something, like send me a warm thought, a smile, a caring email, a beautiful song by Matthew West, a note of encouragement, a text to say hello, a phone call just because, an affirmation, a compliment, a flower, some chocolate, a fresh loaf of homemade bread, an invitation for a walk or a dinner date, a prayer, a copy of 

Jesus Calling by Sarah Young in the mail.

Trusting dependence ... I like it ... in theory.

But I get SO caught up in trying to control my circumstances.

And the more I try to control ... yep ...

the more out of control I spin.

Trusting dependence ... 

depending on my higher power ... 

so important. Critical even.

Because He's got this.

24/7.

From theory to practice ... that's my challenge today.

To know that God has sent people to me ... to do something.

To trust it. Without question.

And then to act ...

because He's also called me to be that crucial friend to others.

To do something. 

To send a warm thought, a smile, a caring email, a beautiful song by Matthew West, a note of encouragement, a text to say hello, a phone call just because, an affirmation, a compliment, a flower, some chocolate, a fresh loaf of homemade bread, an invitation for a walk or a dinner date, a prayer, a copy of Jesus Calling by Sarah Young in the mail.

Every day.

How will you be a crucial friend today?

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Now That's Significant

Today I'm researching who Dr. James Comer is 

and pondering what he means by significant.

Here's what I found when I looked the definition up online at 

The Free Dictionary.

And I'm going to muse that trust, kindness, caring and love are likely incredibly important ingredients

in that recipe of meaningfulness that makes

those connections significant.

How do you make that happen in your school family?

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Nothing Is Wasted

Oh how I was blessed last night at the Stephen Curtis Chapman

 Glorious Unfolding concert:

We worshiped.

We laughed.

We sang.

We wept.

We watched.

We learned.

We listened to stories.

We rejoiced.

 With Jason Gray, whose speech impediment doesn't get in the way.

With Laura Story, whose husband's brain tumor doesn't get in the way.

With Stephen Curtis, whose grief from having to let go 

doesn't get in the way.

My take-away was that these AmAzInG artists all have this in common:  

Trust without borders.

Laura Story can say it more beautifully than I.

Just listen ...

Their message that nothing is wasted in our story resonates with me. On the mountaintop where they are so alive or in the dark, dark valley where there's fear and devastation, they are faithful and they trust their Lord, their Higher Power.

Thank you, Carol, for taking me along.

So much to reflect upon, process, digest, pray about and work on.

Nothing is wasted ... nothing. At all. Ever. Amen.

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