Opening {Back} Up

 Today I'm grateful because my friend Dr. Jean invited me to do a guest post for her blog. Click {here} for some ideas around conflict resolution.

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PPBF: Draw The Line

So this week had me feeling nostalgic and left me longing in a familiar way, taking me back to my first days and months of retirement two years ago. Only I didn't really retire, just moved into my encore career. Still, there was a big hole in my educator heart because I missed the energy of empowerment.

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PPBF: Buckets, Dippers, and Lids

Today I'm excited because it's dewberry season; John and I have been picking these tasty treasures, a mindfulness outing that I've decided to refer to as couple's therapy. The berries are so plump, juicy and sweet this year. YummY. And what fun it has been to share the pies and coffee cakes that we've made.

I'm also super grateful because my friend Carol McCloud sent me a copy of her new book about filling a bucket of the invisible kind.

Title: Buckets, Dippers, and Lids

Author: Carol McCloud

Illustrator: Glenn Zimmer

Publisher: Bucket Fillers, Inc.

Birthday: April 30, 2018

Suitable for ages: 7 and up

Themes: happiness, kindness, conflict resolution

Brief synopsis: The bucket-filling concept goes deeper with a three-part secret to a happier life, including how to handle conflict (life's dippers) and how to effectively use your bucket's invisible lid.

Opening page: Did you know that everyone in the whole world has an invisible bucket, an invisible dipper, and an invisible lid?

Resources: More information from the publisher {here}.

Check out some of the beautiful illustrations {here}.

Listen to Red Grammer's I've Got A Lid {here}.

Mine some ideas for using the Bucket Filling concept {here}.

Read how we started our Bucket Filling journey {here}.

Why I like this book: I've been a big fan of the timeless concept of Bucket Filling since Carol penned her first book twelve years ago. This newcomer to the Bucket-Fillosophy family brings an important dimension to the idea of filling and dipping by addressing the invisible lid to help with what to do with the ouches in life. It aims to teach its readers how to bounce back when one of life's dippers threatens to steal from their bucket's emotional reserve.

Check out this new tool for your Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) arsenal; I think you'll find it'll make the intangible concepts of kindness, resilience and grit something that our learners can hold on to and apply as they learn to sail the somewhat stormy seas of life.

Then, for fun, go berry picking and surprise someone by sharing.

It's guaranteed to overflow their berry-loving bucket.

For today's other PPBF titles, visit Susana Hill's blog {here}.

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Speak Your Kind

Today I'm excited because these little beauties

were half off at Starbucks, so I snagged two of them,

one for me and one for our one-of-a-kind Assistant Principal.

Not sure how I missed it, but evidently this clever design 

was a part of their holiday collection last Christmas.

I love it ... and it has me thinking ...

about what it means to speak your kind.

So today, in my attempt to speak my kind, 

I'm sharing our story from Easter Sunday.

I'd spent the weekend with Kaitlyn in Austin. After church that morning, we found a Starbucks, then needed to fill my van up with gas for my three-hour ride home. I really wanted to go to a cheaper gas station, but in the interest of time, we settled on the HEB gas pumps next to the coffee shop. That's where we saw this.

This has happened to me before, 

losing my wallet, 

and it's not a good feeling. 

In fact, it's horrible.

So empathy and compassion kicked in.

We immediately tried to turn it in to the guy in the payment booth, but the booth was empty, probably because it was a holiday. Kaitlyn thought we might just leave it there, but I worried that someone else might come get it, so we looked at his license to get an address. Our GPS told us we could be to his house within ten minutes from where we were, so we drove it to his empty home. Guessing they were at an Easter service, too. 

Kaitlyn suggested we find him on Facebook, to private message him and let him know that his wallet would be waiting for him at home. So we left it underneath the front Wipe Your Paws doormat with a note scribbled on our coffee cup coozie that simply read: Happy Easter. Kaitlyn and Barbara. We drove away praying that he'd see the Facebook message and/or find his wallet before thinking it was stolen or lost forever and cancelling any of his cards.

Three days later, Kaitlyn got this response:

So happy that he found his wallet and kind of eager 

to hear his story, I looked Scott up on Facebook.

The parallels to the Easter story were not lost on me:

three ideas about what to do with the wallet,

three thank-yous in Scott's message to Kaitlyn,

three times we find the word empty,

three days later we learn the rest of the story.

How many times does a kindness come along just at the right time,

when, like Scott, we're feeling 

defeated, 

tired 

and ashamed 

when we're starting to feel a little empty even?

And then, more than a coincidence, a miracle God wink.

Putting people in the right place at the right time.

Using them Allowing them to be His hands and feet.

Encouraging them to speak His kind.

Scott has promised to pay it forward and we can't wait to hear how.

Speaking of speaking your kind mind, my post with tips 

for tackling those tough conversations with students is now live.

Click this image to read the post.

I love this info-graphic that they made with my suggestions. 

Today's guest post is bittersweet because, after three years of writing for Free Spirit, I've decided to pass the baton to another counselor so that their readers can 

hear another voice,

share another heartbeat, 

reflect on another journey 

gain insight from another perspective

grab new ideas from another caring climate

and grow alongside another practitioner in the field.

I say farewell to Free Spirit with gratitude for the opportunity

and with the invitation to stop by any time as their guest author.

And are you ready for the big news of the day? Amanda Symmes, school adjustment counselor and a new cyberspace collaborator and friend of mine, is going to be taking my place. You might remember Amanda from her poignant piece about Holding Backpacks, shared at the Corner earlier this semester. 

Congrats, Amanda; I'm so proud of you and 

really eager to read your reflections.

Speak your kind; you've got this!    

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Restoring Circles

So earlier this week, The Corner was selected as a Top Counseling Blog of 2017 by Online Counseling Programs. I'm so grateful for their kind affirmation:

Being a blogger is such a gift to me because I get to share what's going on in my corner while I collaborate with passionate caregivers around the world. One of those is school psychologist Julie Gordon-Buccitti. You might remember her guest post about Bucket Filling; well, today she's back to share about her school's experience using Restorative Practices. Welcome Julie! 

**********

Hello from Momauguin Elementary School in East Haven, CT.  We are a grade K-5 school that has just completed our first year with our “new team” after a consolidation of schools within our district. Our school, which was previously a grade 3-5 school, acquired three new grade levels this year (K-2) along with new students, new staff, and new administration. With all of these changes that took place, we had much work ahead of us to establish and build positivity within our brand-new school community.

Earlier this year, our principal, several staff members and I were given the opportunity to attend a two-day workshop on Restorative Practices, one of the most helpful and informative workshops I have been to in some time. Right away, we returned to school and began implementing some of the techniques we had learned. We were so pleased with the responses from our students, and with the results we were seeing! At the workshop, we learned that Restorative Practices is a process that needs to be introduced one step at a time. This way, we can better achieve buy-in within the community and not overwhelm students or staff.

  

We also learned how to conduct Restorative Circles. In a Restorative Circle, all stakeholders involved or affected by a given situation gather and work together to repair the harm that had occurred and restore relationships. Using a series of carefully thought-out and non-threatening questions is key to conducting these practices. One of the most important things we learned in our workshop was to refrain from beginning a circle by asking, “Why did you do that?” Not only are we unlikely to get a definitive answer by using this type of question, but it also starts the circle on a defensive or even accusatory note. Instead, we used these types of questions from the International Institute for Restorative Practices (IIRP). 

Click image for source.

We began by using Restorative Circles to address student conflicts. It was wonderful to see how the students responded once they were informed that our discussion wasn’t so much about “being in trouble” but rather looking for ways to work with them to repair the harm that had been done and move forward in a positive manner.  The focus was removed from being punitive and turned toward being restorative. Students then felt more comfortable and became very honest in their responses. They gained greater understanding of how their actions impacted others. Not only did these techniques help us to solve problems and decrease the chances of them reoccurring, but they also taught our students coping skills, listening skills, and empathy. Using Restorative Practices has helped our students learn to conduct better conversational exchanges, and it has given them an avenue in which to be heard and feel supported by peers and adults alike.

Having opportunities to listen to peers or adults express their feelings about how they felt as a result of others’ actions was a new experience and an eye-opener for many of our students. Not only was it helpful for those with hurt feelings to be heard, but it was also helpful for those who did the hurting to hear how their actions made others feel. This gave students an opportunity to think about and reflect upon their actions. It was also helpful for students to be able to share that it wasn’t their intention to hurt someone’s feelings and to have an opportunity to express remorse to the person whose feelings they had hurt. This was beneficial for all sides of any given situation.

  

We found that the more we used these techniques, the more we noticed that we weren’t seeing the same students returning with the same issues or concerns repeatedly. Through use of these practices, we have been able to observe teaching, learning, problem-solving, and increased understanding and empathy toward others. It has been a rewarding experience for children and adults involved, and it has helped us to build positivity within our school community!  

The students have responded so well to these techniques, that they have even requested Restorative Circles when challenging situations have arisen.

Moving forward and planning for next year, our amazing principal, Diane MacKinnon, has suggested expanding on our initiatives by incorporating a Restorative Circle time into our schedule for the upcoming school year. Our entire school will be starting each day with Restorative Circles, first thing every morning. We also decided as a staff that we would like to have all of the specials teachers and support staff go into different classrooms daily. This way, there would be opportunities for the non-classroom teachers to participate in circles in all of the classrooms over the course of the school year. 

I can’t wait to see how the students and staff will enjoy using these techniques, the sharing that will take place, and the building of connections and relationships. With positive relationships and connections in place with children, peers, and adults, our students will be ready to start their school day in a positive and supportive way and, in turn, will be better able to access academic instruction.  It truly is a win-win for all! 

If you would like to learn more about Restorative Practices, you can go to Facebook and like IIRP’s page here.  

You can also visit the IIRP website here.

To read more about Restorative Practices, check out these two excellent books from IIRP. Click on each book for more information. 

Thank you, Julie. 

We are looking into adopting Restorative Practices as well, so I have started reading these and am really enjoying them. Interestingly enough, when I was a teenager, the younger brother of one of my friends gave me a black eye and instead of press charges to punish him, my father invited him to remedy what he'd done by working alongside of us on the family farm, so restorative practices were actually modeled during my upbringing. I can't wait to unleash the power of the circle on our campus. Need more Restorative Practices resources?

Schools See Improved Climate With Restorative Practices

We Must Pair Raise The Age With Restorative Justice

Teaching Restorative Practices In The Classroom

Using Dialogue Circles To Support Classroom Management 

Restorative Justice: Resources For Schools

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Otis Grows

Every once in a while, a publisher reaches out to introduce a new author and title to me. Sometimes it's love at first sight, other times I'm not instantly enamored. Since there was something odd but endearing about this onion called Otis that made me want to peel back the layers and learn more, I asked to talk with author Kathryn Hast about her intriguing newcomer Otis Grows. Thank you, Kathryn, for your insight; best wishes as Otis makes its trek around the world!

1. Otis Grows begins with an odd premise: that an onion is the son of a flower and a chicken. How did you come up with the idea, and what do those groups mean to you?

Yes, it’s a bit bizarre. But in some ways most children’s books are, right?  I mean, bunnies don’t talk, there’s no such thing as a Truffula tree, and we’re humans, not Muggles. I think one of the cornerstones of childhood is the ability to suspend disbelief, to see past odd anthropomorphization, for example, and find instead empathy via character. I studied magical realism a lot over the course of my MFA, and there’s surely a bridge there, but the story actually began as a dream my dad had. He told me about it, I laughed, and penned a few stanzas as a joke. Returning to it years later, I saw the story as a way to highlight the absurdity of American cultures in conflict, which seems to be happening at such an escalating level.

2. Do you think the theme(s) could be a bit heavy for kids?

It’s a good question. The book is not for everyone. I created it with a fundamental worldview that books are not just for entertainment. Social scientists and educators have been reporting for years that active learning is what works. By contrast, passive learning is when you attend a lecture, when you’re read to… but when you engage and explore concepts actively, the stimulation ensures a richer learning experience. Accordingly--in my view--books can and should lead to conversations. And sometimes those conversations aren’t quick or easy. If it takes a parent and child months to get through my little, forty-page book, I feel I will have done my job.

3. Most children’s books have a targeted age group. But you insist that Otis Grows is for all ages. Why is that?

While many children’s books adhere strictly to age and/or reading levels, I think there’s something to be said for using playful language, which may or may not be elevated. The word “inverse,” for example, is not really for kids, but when you couple it with “of course” and “war’s curse,” and when you provide visual context, kids can get the gist. They’re smarter than we think. Also, it’s always been my hope that adults would enjoy my books, too. How many of us with young kids wish we could read more? How many of us prioritize our kids’ exposure to books over our own? It’s always been my hope that adults can find reflection and meaning in my books. That would be great.

4. What would you say the central message is in Otis Grows?

At a very superficial level, simply: growth. Development. I’ve always been drawn to Bildungsroman as a literary genre, but of course “coming-of-age” can encompass any number of things. There’s a scene in Otis Grows that resonates with me as I enter my forties: it’s when Otis comes back home to see his dad, and from a distance, his father seems “old.” That little piece of Otis’s growth is what speaks to me right now in my life, but others may find pause in the “odor of growing older,” in the realization of the beauty all around, or in Otis’s gained physical height and awkward stature.

5. You’ve mentioned your other books. What more can we expect from you?

My illustrator, L.M. Phang, is currently working on our next collaboration called Batty Betty. It’s about a giant who dances by herself with a red basket. There are some beavers who deride her, and then a tuba and a banana who forge a friendship amidst the “crazy” world they live in. ...So right, if there are objections to an onion having a chicken for a mom, there’s plenty of concepts to critique in this one, too. But I hope people can see past that. You know, Beckett had people living in trashcans; Kafka made a man turn into an insect. I do not claim (or aspire) to be giants such as they, but I do hope for a world where there is more literature, for everyone, including kids.

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Kelso's Choice Kit Winner

Today I'm excited because 86 readers entered to win our

Kelso's Conflict Resolution Kit and the number generator selected comment #11. Join me in congratulating Katie!

Here's what she shared about conflict resolution:

 Katie, please get in touch with me via email so I can pass your postal information on to our friends at the Cerebellum Corp.

In the event that I don't hear from Katie by Monday, February 20th, at noon {CST}, our number generator selected an alternate, Jennifer.

Here's what Jennifer does to help problem solve.

Jennifer, we will be in touch if we don't hear from Katie in the next few days.

I was just delighted that so many of you expressed interest in Kelso's Choices to help your superheroes soar and I appreciated reading all of your reflections about strategies you're already using to give your students these conflict-resolution skills.

Need a few ideas on how to use this fantastic empowerment tool? I've blogged about how Kelso helps us at school {here} and {here} and how Kelso can help families at home {here} and {here}. 

Check out this incredible investment for your character building;

I think you'll be hoppy that you did!

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Kelso's Choice Giveaway

Happy Random Acts of Kindness Week and Valentine's Day.

How are you celebrating?

I'm still on a natural high from Counseling Week;

here's a sample of the heartfelt notes I got from my superheroes.

I love that he feels like the special one,

I'm happy that he finds my puppets joyful,

and I'm touched that he aspires to be like me when he grows up!

I also got this cool Kindness Box!

The adorable little hand-drawn pick-me-ups tucked neatly inside the box, just waiting to warm up whoever picks one, are evidence that it only takes one, one little person, one little act of kindness, one little ripple ... 

... to make a world of difference.

And if all of that kindness weren't enough, our friends from Kelso's Choice have offered to partner with me to give away this AmAzInG conflict-resolution kit to one of my dedicated readers.

Isn't that so incredibly generous and kind?

We love Kelso's Choice because it not only teaches our students to discern between small problems and big problems, but it also empowers them with skills to solve their small, pesky annoyances while giving them permission to seek help with larger, more threatening issues.

If you're in the US or Canada and would like a chance to win this kit, comment between now and this Saturday, February 18th, at noon {CST} with an effective problem-solving strategy that you use at home, at school or in the workplace. 

A random number generator will choose one lucky winner; we'll post that name this weekend with directions on how to claim your prize. 

Good luck and thanks again for coming by the Corner.

This giveaway is now closed; congrats to Katie (comment #11) for winning the kit.

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The Path To Peace

Today I'm excited because we're having our counseling classes on conflict resolution this week outside on our Peace Labyrinth that former Bales Principal Jay Stailey and his friend Reginald Adams designed for us and helped us paint.

The lesson goes something like this:

First I share this funny and engaging Sesame Street clip, 

featuring the late Robin Williams, 

to show students what conflict is and what conflict isn't.

Then we watch this clip featuring a common conflict, a fight that ensued between two students after one cheated from another.

Before we head outside to the Labyrinth to role play what happens the next day between Jimmy and Max, we talk about what collaborating using the five steps to problem solving would look like on our conflict-resolution Peace Labyrinth.

It's interesting, because as they predict what the steps are, most of the students want to go straight to a solution. Instead, the steps include:

1. State the problem.

2. State your feelings.

3. State the other person's feelings.

{We're calling this one the empathy stop!}

4. Brainstorm solutions.

5. Choose the best solution.

So we head outside, and role play an easy one first, to review the steps: I want to eat at McDonald's, and the student who volunteers to walk the path with me wants to eat at Chick fil A. Then, we select a volunteer to play Jimmy and a classmate to play Max, and we let them walk the path to peace.

We're so happy even our Labyrinth is smiling!

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PPBF: Turn! Turn! Turn!

Today's post will be short and sweet as we wrap up

The Great Kindness Challenge and get ready to celebrate

National School Counseling Week.

Today's PPBF perfectly complements both.

To everything, there is a season ... 

Title: Turn! Turn! Turn!

Author: Pete Seeger

Illustrator: Wendy Anderson Halperin

Publisher: Simon and Schuster Children's Publishing

Date: September 1, 2003

Suitable for: age 5 and up

Themes: inspirational, peace, circle of life

Brief Synopsis: Based on the inspiration of Ecclesiastes Chapter 3, this book uses text from the Byrds song Turn!, Turn!, Turn! to explore and enjoy the ways people turn through the pages of the book of life.

Opening page:

Resources:

*Read a review {here}. 

*Listen to the song on CD, included in the book.

*Have students draw a time line of their lives; challenge them to make it circular rather than linear.

*Encourage students to write and illustrate another line.

A time to ____ , a time to _____ .

What would you add?

Why I like this book: I've always been a fan of that verse from the Ecclesiastes and this song. Then when my friend Ann brought me a copy of the book, I fell in love all over again. Look how pretty it is sitting on my shelf among my angels. 

To everything, there is a season ...

The circles on every page are beautifully illustrated to put this poetic text into a peace-filled picture. Such a simple yet important concept to remember, especially as we grieve the good-bye of something special and bounce forward into something new.

This week, some of our students worked with our high school PALs to paint a conflict-resolution peace labyrinth and it reminds me of the circular concept in this book.

To everything, there is a season.

We also hosted singer, songwriter, and expert bucket-filler Red Grammer on the Westwood side. Here he is teaching us to use our lids to keep ourselves happy and safe. Click the picture to see Mrs. Quigley's first-grade students teaching him and our audience the motions they use for his song The Power To Change The World.

 And today, we say good-bye to our Principal, Terri, and hello to a new leader, J.T. It's a time of change again at Bales, the perfect time to get quiet and contemplate the circle of life.

Turn, turn, turn.

For more PPBF picks today, turn now to Susanna's blog.

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