As I work on building my legacy, I've decided to check in with ChatGPT to see what it thinks I think about kindness to self.
So here goes, the answer I got when I asked AI
to write a keynote about self-kindness in my voice.
Here is a keynote-style speech inspired by the tone and spirit often found in Barbara Gruener’s writing — warm, reflective, faith-tinged without being preachy, rich in metaphor, and rooted in gentle encouragement — written to sound spoken, not read.
The Power of Kindness to Self
Good morning, friends.
Before we talk about kindness to others, before we talk about changing the world, I want to invite you into a quieter, often overlooked place—the space where kindness begins.
Not out there.
Not on social media.
Not in the applause of a job well done.
But right here.
Within.
Because the truth is this: we cannot pour from a cup we are constantly cracking with criticism.
Many of us have become experts at extending grace outward while withholding it inward. We encourage our friends. We cheer for our children. We forgive mistakes in strangers. Yet when it comes to ourselves, we tighten the rules, raise the bar, and rehearse our failures like bedtime stories we never wanted to memorize.
We tell ourselves things we would never dare
say to someone we love.
“Do better.”
“Why aren’t you stronger?”
“You should be over this by now.”
Kindness to self is not indulgence.
It is not laziness.
It is not lowering standards.
Kindness to self is courage.
It takes courage to pause instead of push.
To rest instead of run.
To listen instead of label.
Kindness to self says, I am human, and that is not a flaw.
You see, we live in a culture that applauds exhaustion. We wear busyness like a badge of honor. We mistake productivity for worth. Somewhere along the way, we learned to believe that if we slow down, we fall behind—and if we fall behind, we somehow matter less.
But the soul doesn’t thrive on pressure.
It blooms in gentleness.
Just like a garden.
You don’t yell at seeds to grow faster.
You don’t shame the soil for resting through winter.
You tend.
You water.
You wait.
And growth comes when it’s ready.
Kindness to self means allowing yourself seasons. Seasons of strength and seasons of struggle. Seasons of clarity and seasons of confusion. Seasons where you soar and seasons where simply getting out of bed is the bravest thing you do all day. And here’s the beautiful paradox: when we are kind to ourselves, we become safer places for others.
When we stop judging our own imperfections so harshly, we soften toward the imperfections around us. When we offer ourselves patience, we become more patient parents, partners, teachers, leaders, friends.
Self-kindness multiplies.
It teaches us how to speak gently.
How to listen deeply.
How to forgive fully.
Sometimes kindness to self looks like saying “no” without apology. Sometimes it looks like asking for help without shame. Sometimes it looks like standing in front of a mirror and choosing compassion over comparison.
And sometimes—perhaps most powerfully—it looks like beginning again.
Not with punishment.
Not with guilt.
But with grace.
If today you are tired, be kind.
If today you are healing, be kind.
If today you feel behind, broken, or unsure—be kind.
You are not a problem to fix.
You are a person to love.
And when you learn to love yourself with patience, with honesty, with mercy—you don’t just change your own life. You change the way the world feels to everyone who crosses your path.
So go gently.
Speak kindly—to others, yes—but also
(and importantly!) to the voice that lives within.
Because kindness to self is not the end of the journey.
It is the beginning.
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This powerful piece of writing, even though it's generated by artificial intelligence, so beautifully encapsulates what I've been saying in my January growth sessions.
How crazy is that?
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