What Empathy Isn't

Today I'm taking a deep dive and reflecting on empathy. Again.

It's this image posted by Tiny Buddha that has me thinking.

We know what empathy is and how it works, 

but have we thought much about what it isn't?

Like not being a "get out of jail free" card.

Like not being an excuse for enabling.

Like not being a toxic conduit.

So much to unpack with this glorious skill.

When I first read about ruinous empathy, 

I couldn't wrap my head around it. 

How could something so good turn into something so bad? 

Toxic? Like poison??

I actually told myself, no way, and I dismissed the notion.

But as I age and watch life go by, I can see it more and more clearly.

Using empathy to enable, for example, can create a bigger problem,

as can using empathy to condone someone's unhealthy choices.

What we permit, we promote, after all.

How can we be empathic and still hold others accountable?

How do we find that beautiful balance between

what empathy is and what empathy isn't?

As always, I have more questions than answers, but

I have found a few interesting articles to help us.

Greater Good Magazine: All About Empathy

Tiny Buddha: Please Don't Fix Me

Envision Kindness: What Empathy Is and Is Not

Empathy Isn't What Most People Think It Is

Why Trait Empathy Is The Wrong Measure

So much food for thought.

And there's good news: Not only are we hard wired for it,

but the skill of empathy can be taught!

These are the empathy habits from Dr. Michele Borba's research.

I've compiled this list of engaging activities for elevating empathy 

if you need some strategies even as you chew on these distinctions.

Happy slide back into school; 

savor every last second of summer.