Influence What Matters

Today I'm thinking about my circle of influence.

It started with an invitation to speak to a group of 250 6th-8th graders and asking myself what I want them to remember. How do I want to influence them? What matters?

I've got an hour. Just one hour, to pour into them. 

To start, I created this image and let ChatGPT design it for me.

Click {here} if you'd like to download a copy.

Or do a search; there are lots of these charts out there.

As I age, I'm doing better at accepting how small my circle of control is. But with that comes the realization that my circle of influence is actually pretty wide. Perhaps endless even.

I've come to understand that these things really matter: 

How I carry myself, how I treat others, and how we connect.

Starting with trust.

Because without trust, there's no connection.

And without connection, forget influence.

Oh, and here's how I'm learning about my circle of control. 

I have the blessing of a headstrong granddaughter. 

And I'm learning by default that I can't control her. 

Oh, I can pick her up as she kicks and screams,

and carry her to her room, but I can't make her nap. 

Trust me, we've tried.

Nap time is a recurring reminder that my circle of control

is smaller than she is. Pint-sized. Puny, even. 😕 

So I step out, into my circle of influence.

I've tried inviting her to nap with me,

reminding her that she can watch a movie after her nap,

promising her a popsicle after her sleep.

Sometimes it works, other times, not so much.

So I default to what really matters. Does she have to nap?

Or could we skip the nap and move to an earlier bedtime?

It feels like a dance with no ending in sight.

On replay. With our grandjoy, at naptime anyway.

Because 2 o'clock comes around every afternoon.

But I digress.

Back to my presentation and what I the teens to remember.

I want them to pursue their purpose with passion.

I want them to accept that there will be lots of hurdles

and that making mistakes will be important to their success. 

I want them to remember to apologize, forgive, 

and lavish grace on themselves and on others.

I want them to know that they are fiercely loved.

And I want them to find their fuel and give life everything they have,

 to use their talents and their gifts to influence, serve, and bless others.

I may even start with a question: How do you want to be remembered?

While we may not be able to control that outcome,

we can certainly influence the way the world sees us. 

Here's to having the self-control to do just that.

Every day. With every interaction.