Once The Casseroles Quit Coming

Today I'm feeling honored to be a guest blogger for Mom's Choice Awards.

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Can We Measure Kindness?

Today I'm excited because I found this in my inbox.

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Inspiring Morning Rituals

Let's talk morning rituals; do you have one? We pretty much all have a morning routine. The better question might be, is your morning routine one that just happens by chance or is it intentional, something special, a ritual?

"A ritual," author Ashley Ellington Brown writes, "is sacred. It elevates the ordinary and the simple -- just consider the Japanese tea ceremony. A ritual is performed slowly, with attention and gratitude. It calms."

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#CharacterSpeaks Podcasting Joy

Today's excitement comes from a bold, scary step out of my techno-comfort zone; our first podcast is now live.

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Puppet-Tree In Motion

Today I'm excited because I was invited to share how puppets have helped me and shaped my school counseling story on a #StoriesInEdu podcast.

Do you have any puppets?
We have a parrot, an eagle, a wolf, a sloth, a bird,
a toucan't toucan, a kitten, two pigs, a turtle,
a bronco, a pack rat, a cow, a bear, a giraffe,

Hi Junior!

a caterpillar, and a pirate.
Am I forgetting anyone?
Here's they are, our Puppet Patrol, hanging out in the Puppet-Tree 
that Kaitlyn made for us in an architecture class.

It was such a blast, to go back 18 years and reminisce about Seymour, my first puppet, and remember what happened when I first got to Westwood and forgot to grab that baby harp seal when we evacuated for my first fire drill there.

Who knew that the littles would think the puppets were REAL?

And to talk about how I engage all learners from preK through 5th grade 

with our squawker, Winthrup, who tends to worry.

To share about the time that some third-grade girls

gave up recess to gather some rocks for my thieving Pack Rat,

so he has his own and doesn't have to steal anymore.

And to plant ideas for using the puppets as a tool to facilitate conversations, to solve problems, and to integrate them into curricular areas, like writing.

And to let them be kids for a bit and play.

Because play heals.

And it's just flat-out fun 

for young and old alike.

And today, this note from a fifth-grade girl

who is going to miss us.

Can you feel the puppet love?

The interview is also available as a You Tube clip:

How do you unleash the power of the puppet?

I'm so grateful to the Bretzmann Group and to Mandy and Josh

for this amazing opportunity. It was great fun chatting with them.

Speaking of gratitude, how will you thank 

your favorite teachers next week?

Click the image below to go to a guest post

I wrote for my friends at Prosign Design

sharing some intriguing ideas for Teacher Appreciation Week.

Happy May.

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Speak Your Kind

Today I'm excited because these little beauties

were half off at Starbucks, so I snagged two of them,

one for me and one for our one-of-a-kind Assistant Principal.

Not sure how I missed it, but evidently this clever design 

was a part of their holiday collection last Christmas.

I love it ... and it has me thinking ...

about what it means to speak your kind.

So today, in my attempt to speak my kind, 

I'm sharing our story from Easter Sunday.

I'd spent the weekend with Kaitlyn in Austin. After church that morning, we found a Starbucks, then needed to fill my van up with gas for my three-hour ride home. I really wanted to go to a cheaper gas station, but in the interest of time, we settled on the HEB gas pumps next to the coffee shop. That's where we saw this.

This has happened to me before, 

losing my wallet, 

and it's not a good feeling. 

In fact, it's horrible.

So empathy and compassion kicked in.

We immediately tried to turn it in to the guy in the payment booth, but the booth was empty, probably because it was a holiday. Kaitlyn thought we might just leave it there, but I worried that someone else might come get it, so we looked at his license to get an address. Our GPS told us we could be to his house within ten minutes from where we were, so we drove it to his empty home. Guessing they were at an Easter service, too. 

Kaitlyn suggested we find him on Facebook, to private message him and let him know that his wallet would be waiting for him at home. So we left it underneath the front Wipe Your Paws doormat with a note scribbled on our coffee cup coozie that simply read: Happy Easter. Kaitlyn and Barbara. We drove away praying that he'd see the Facebook message and/or find his wallet before thinking it was stolen or lost forever and cancelling any of his cards.

Three days later, Kaitlyn got this response:

So happy that he found his wallet and kind of eager 

to hear his story, I looked Scott up on Facebook.

The parallels to the Easter story were not lost on me:

three ideas about what to do with the wallet,

three thank-yous in Scott's message to Kaitlyn,

three times we find the word empty,

three days later we learn the rest of the story.

How many times does a kindness come along just at the right time,

when, like Scott, we're feeling 

defeated, 

tired 

and ashamed 

when we're starting to feel a little empty even?

And then, more than a coincidence, a miracle God wink.

Putting people in the right place at the right time.

Using them Allowing them to be His hands and feet.

Encouraging them to speak His kind.

Scott has promised to pay it forward and we can't wait to hear how.

Speaking of speaking your kind mind, my post with tips 

for tackling those tough conversations with students is now live.

Click this image to read the post.

I love this info-graphic that they made with my suggestions. 

Today's guest post is bittersweet because, after three years of writing for Free Spirit, I've decided to pass the baton to another counselor so that their readers can 

hear another voice,

share another heartbeat, 

reflect on another journey 

gain insight from another perspective

grab new ideas from another caring climate

and grow alongside another practitioner in the field.

I say farewell to Free Spirit with gratitude for the opportunity

and with the invitation to stop by any time as their guest author.

And are you ready for the big news of the day? Amanda Symmes, school adjustment counselor and a new cyberspace collaborator and friend of mine, is going to be taking my place. You might remember Amanda from her poignant piece about Holding Backpacks, shared at the Corner earlier this semester. 

Congrats, Amanda; I'm so proud of you and 

really eager to read your reflections.

Speak your kind; you've got this!    

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Powerful Therapeutic Art

Today please welcome a Houston Middle School Counselor, Nicole  Batiste.

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Five Powerful Therapeutic Art Lessons by: Nicole Batiste

Relatively new to the school counseling world as I've spent the last three years as a School Social Worker-Counselor and before that I was in the classroom, one honest confession I can make is that I was extremely and [prematurely] excited that my new role might allow me to finally ditch lesson planning. Little did I know, I was in for a rude awakening. Not long into my counseling journey, reality hit; I still had to lesson plan, only now instead of creating engaging lessons for my classroom around academia, I was planning engaging lessons around a needs diverse caseload. If you’re anything like me, you to have a lot of different kiddos on your radar you are trying to service. More than likely it seems like you can’t ever get enough engaging resources to help you make your sessions meaningful and engaging. In a lot of trial and error in planning activities, I've learned two truths.

1.   Kinesthetic, hands-on therapy is highly engaging

2.  Art Supplies are your friend!

Whether you’re doing individual sessions or conducting groups, adding some art supplies and having something for your students to create is a goldmine for school counselors. Below are five tried-and-true powerful therapeutic art activities that can help stock up your counseling cabinet or simply give you ideas to create some pretty awesome lessons for your learners. 

    The Power of Color 

   This activity is a great intro to the therapeutic arts. Students will begin by learning and identifying primary colors. Then students will start assigning color to their daily emotions and their desired emotions. This resource allows your students to search themselves emotionally and creatively connect it to color.

         What Color is My Anger? 

   

   This resource is great for anger management/emotional regulation. Students are required to assess their anger and decide what's inside their anger outbursts. You can use this resource OR have client draw a bomb and reflect what triggers or emotions are inside that bomb.

Dual Self Portrait 

   
   This activity is great for self-esteem or girl-drama groups. In this therapeutic art activity, children learn about the importance of inner beauty and empathy. Participants will draw on a blank face what they consider their outer appearance or image and then on the other side draw what's underneath their surface. Encourage kids to make a list about both their outer and inner selves before completing a dual self-portrait.

Crystal Ball 

   This therapeutic art activity is wonderful way to build rapport with your students and serves as an opener for therapy. Your students will use drawings, colors, symbols and words to fill in their "Crystal Ball." Kids have A LOT of fun with this one because they get to talk about all their wants and dreams. It is also a great resource for you to get an understanding of what they ultimately want out of life, school, etc.

    Pieces of Me  

   

   Another simple way to engage kids in therapy is the "Get to Know Me activity." This is also a great resource for fostering social skills as kiddos talk about themselves and listen and respond to others. In this activity. students use puzzle pieces to answer simple questions about themselves and then represent them artistically.

Quick Tips:

·   Don’t over think it; therapeutic art is just using artistic creation in the therapeutic process.

·   Have discussion questions ready- Once kids pick up a crayon, for some reason they are ready to open up!

·   Join in on the fun. Being a member and facilitator helps everyone feel equal and it adds to the fun!

To purchase these and other Kinesthetic Therapy activities, visit {here}

About the author: School Counselor Nicole Batiste graduated with her Masters degree in Social Work in 2013 and has worked as a school counselor, social worker and elementary educator. She has a passion for teaching social emotional learning through engaging, hands-on, thought-provoking activities.

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Thank you, Nicole, for sharing these creative ways to help students learn about themselves as they mature and grow socially and emotionally. 

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The Complexion of Connection

Today I'm feeling calm and passionate because I just spent two days at our state counseling conference. My learning session on Mindfulness was scheduled from 4:30 to 6 pm yesterday and I wasn't sure anyone would feel like staying that late when they could be enjoying an early dinner on the water in Galveston, but the room was filled with so many lifelong learners, school counselors eager to grow with me. Two of them were my former students, which makes my heart happy. I shared this image from my #JoyfulLeaders friend Bethany Hill as we talked about and then traded out our resentments for our appreciations.

This morning's keynote by Dr. Omekongo Dibinga of UPstander International set us on fire to be that one person who changes the trajectory of the lives of the marginalized students, 

the lost, 

the lonely, 

the listless, 

those who don't come to us with the complexion of connection. 

He told us that schools ought not be places with policies like check your feelings at the door. He reminded us that every day we get to choose what happens inside of us regardless of what happens around us. And he recommended that we let go of our resentments as we appreciate and grow through our experiences. 

Then he encouraged us to care for ourselves because people are counting on us, and we can't serve from an empty vessel. So tomorrow I return to my school family, ready to keep on carrying the baton that prioritizes social and emotional learning for all students. It's always refreshing to be away for a bit, for perspective, for rest and restoration. 

I'm also feeling thankful to be able to share this poignant reflection from a cyberspace colleague across the country. As soon as I read it, I knew I had to ask Amanda if she would share it with my readers. And to my delight, she said yes! Here now, a peek into what caregivers get to do every day as we hold the hearts and invisible backpacks of our most precious treasure, our children.

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Holding Backpacks by Amanda C. Symmes, LICSW

Today, I have chosen to stay in bed
My throat burning with new illness
My head heavy with pressure
This morning, I almost walked out the door anyway--

(Theassemblyandthatmeetingandthosekids
IpromisedIwouldmakeuptimewithandthat
GirlthatIwanttocheckinonagainandandand)

But I listened to a faint inner voice that said:
“Be Gentle With Yourself”
Words that I so frequently gift to others,
And decided today would be a day that I would
Accept this for myself.

We must take care of ourselves.

And yet, in addition to a virus growing within me,
There is additional suffering multiplying
Exponentially outside of me.
In my professional world, always;
A microcosm of the greater world around us.

As such, at the end of some weeks,
It feels simply too heavy to carry.
As a School Adjustment Counselor
For close to six hundred kids in an urban school,
I am tasked with truly holding the weight of the world
For as many of these children as I possibly can…

And yet, it is truly the best job I have ever had.
Each day is a brand new opportunity to
Work like hell to MAYBE make it
So that children feel just a bit lighter each day.

And yet, it’s never that simple.

But I try anyway.

Each day, I get to talk to and listen to these
Complicated kids armed with defense mechanisms
Like steel walls, yet who are still young and unscathed

Enough

To search me from head to toe,
For a nugget of support and acceptance.

And so I give just that.
I sit with them, while we knead kinetic sand
And squeeze stress balls, and listen to music
And take deep breaths and let
Vulnerability and compassion
Fill the room with a sense of safety that is essential.

And on certain occasions, with certain kids,
I tell them that one of my abilities
Is that I can see *both* of their backpacks.

I can see the one that holds
Their books and papers,
The ones that most
People know about and can see.

And they listen to me ramble on, often confused,
but always intrigued.

I go on to tell them that I can see the invisible one
That they carry too.

The one that is filled with invisible but very
HEAVY stones.

In my mind I name their stones:

“A loved one overdosed”
“Someone went to jail”
“Your parents are getting divorced
and you are happy because the fighting
will stop but so sad because a lot of things
are going to change”
“You have had a lot of homes and feel unwanted”
“No one talks to each other at your house”
“Alcohol, suicide, self harm, guilt, regret,
self-blame, self loathing, anxiety, pressure,
depression, stress, neglect,
chronic illness, learning disabilities, bullying,
sleeplessness, lack of connection,
shame, shame, shame….and more”

But to them, I simply say:

“You have a lot of things that are hard for you
in your life. Each of those heavy
stones represents those things.

*And I can see them*

We don’t have to talk about them if you don’t want,
but I do see them.
And I see you struggling to
carry them sometimes. And you are so strong.
Way stronger than you should have to be.
At school, we only need you to carry your regular backpack.
If you want, that invisible one can stay in here with me.”

For these kids, putting on the disguise of
“good student” “kind friend” or “happy kid”
is like trying to put on a strange costume
That is two sizes too small, on top of
An unwanted backpack that is already too heavy.

We can’t wear normal when normal isn’t
Wearing us.

So I tell them plain and simple:

“It is OKAY to not be okay sometimes”.

And I always pair it with:

“But it’s also okay to give yourself permission
to come to school and just be a kid and not
think about anything else.
And allow yourself to feel happy if you want.”

*Because sometimes they need permission*

And usually at first, I smile for them.
But eventually after we’ve connected,
We often smile together.
And smiling with children, that fills me up.

*I will hold your invisible backpack*

Recently, a student asked me
Why the character “Sadness”
From the movie ‘Inside Out’ was my favorite.

(I had forgotten I told him this,
And was a bit surprised that he remembered)

I told him that I believed that
Sadness is an important feeling and
I think a lot of people want sadness to just go away,
But it is a part of life and something we all feel sometimes,
And, I told him, it can be helpful too.

He said “But you’re always happy”

I paused and stayed quiet for a moment,
Thinking of all the things I could
Tell him so that he knew that sadness
Was absolutely a part of my life too.

But instead, I agreed and said,
“Well yes, usually whenever I am at school,
That is when I am my happiest.”

Today, I choose to be gentle with myself,
As I sort out all of the stones that I have collected,
And stretch my weary muscles.

And next week...

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*I will find more backpacks to hold*

About the author: Amanda is a Social Worker currently serving as a School Adjustment Counselor in Haverhill, MA. She adores her work with the children and is continually amazed by the talented and caring staff she is surrounded by each day. Aside from her work family, Amanda lives with her supportive husband and three kids (ages 16, 13 and 6) and enjoys spending time with them "taking in" all the beauty and wonder in the world, while at the same time "talking over" the nonsensical parts of life. She has always enjoyed writing as a creative outlet and a coping strategy for staying balanced and whole. She is hoping to publish something one day and can be reached at amandasymmeslicsw@gmail.com. 

Thank you, Amanda, for your beautiful {heart} work. Keep on crusading for good as you grow alongside others and teach them to take it in and talk it over. 

And now, dear reader, today's challenge: Find that child, with or without the complexion of connection, and offer to help him or her with that backpack for a bit. There's at least one that needs you right now. One lost boy. One lonely girl. One listless child. Carry their backpack. Lighten their load. Be their sunshine.

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