5 Ways to Pep Talk Your Unmotivated Children
by Jane Bongato
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| Photo from Flickr |
You love your children unconditionally. But sometimes the frustration you feel when you watch them
wasting their day playing video games or doing anything but their chores or
homework can be overwhelming. While you want to strike a chord of motivation in
them, the battle between playing their favorite video games and doing their homework is not an easy
one to fight. You remember how it was as a child yourself and can relate, but
you still wish that there was something you could do to make your children more
motivated to do well in school and with their extracurricular activities.
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| Photo from Flickr |
Still, as much as your children may not want to listen, there are certain things you can use in a pep talk that
may ring true and just might motivate them to change their perspective. Here
are five things you can say and do to get your unmotivated children back on track down the road to success.
1. Lead by example – Instead of pushing
your children to be motivated, do what you can to lead by example. By aiming to be
an inspiration to your children and showing them what it looks like to be
motivated and to do well, you can set an example that will show them the
benefits of hard work. This is important as your children will learn best by what they see you
accomplish rather than by being nagged to do more.
2. Do not nag to motivate your
children toward the wrong actions – Constantly getting on your children’s case to do
their homework or chores could motivate them to dislike you rather than push
them to be motivated toward the right behaviors. Instead, back off and try not
to let your anxiety or stress show. Let them know their options and what you
expect out of them, then leave it up to them to complete the tasks at hand in a
certain time period. This way, you become less of the villain and more of the
supporter of their work, leading to less of a power struggle between you and
them.
3. Hold your children accountable – In the real world, if you do not do your job correctly, you will
be punished by losing your commission or losing your job completely. Your children must learn this type of accountability early on to really feel the consequences
of their lack of motivation. Set specific and attainable goals for your child
and let them know the reward or consequence they will receive if they do not
meet their goals. Then, leave it up them to do what they need to in order to
accomplish each of their goals. This will help teach them the valuable skill of
accountability and holding themselves responsible for doing well.
4. Let your children motivate themselves – When you make the conscious decision to teach your children how to become self-motivated, you will be able to let go more easily. When you let
go, you will inevitably nag your children less and show them that you have faith
in their abilities. This way, they are self-driven to reach their goals instead
of feeling like you are the one that got them to where they need to be. This
will encourage them to accomplish more in the future and help boost their
self-confidence and it will show them what they are capable of on their own.
5. Use what motivates your
children as an incentive instead of punishment – If your children love their video
games, use that as an incentive they can earn. Encourage their progress by periodically rewarding them with
the activities that they love, including video games or playing with friends.
But show them that in order to receive their reward time, they must work hard first.
This will teach them that hard work pays off.
Remember, pushing your children to motivate them can have adverse effects. Instead, use a reward and consequence system to show your children the benefits of doing well vs. doing poorly. When they see what they can accomplish, this, in turn, will help boost their motivation as well as their self-confidence.
About The Author:
Jane Bogato is an early childhood educator with a background in Psychology and closely works with children who have special needs for about 6 years now. She enjoys reading, painting or meeting friends during her spare time.
Barbara, the pictures work so well for this post!
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