In The Wake Of Tragedy

My thoughts and prayers are with the school family at Sandy Hook Elementary in Connecticut today. Children depend on us for security in general and even more so in a time like this; how do we as adults process the senseless tragedy that happened there this morning so that we can help our children navigate through it? Look to the experts for help. Start with these comprehensive suggestions about responding to trauma from the 

America Counseling Association. 

Limit your child's exposure to the news. 

Focus on the heroism of the helpers. 

Calmly reassure children that an event like this is not likely to happen to you or to them. 

Review your safety plan at home and at school. 

Embrace your loved ones so they know they're safe.

Pray for the families of the victims. 

Pray for peace.

Photo credit: Diary of a Not So Wimpy Teacher

Suggestions from Dr. Brad Schwall, reprinted with permission:

Tragedy Talking Points by Dr. Brad Schwall

The following guidelines may help you in addressing the school-shooting incident with your children based on the information currently known about the tragedy to this point.

• Avoid exposing children to too much media coverage.
• Avoid fostering rumors and speculation about the tragedy.  

Age and Stage Responses

Preschool-2^nd grade – discuss the incident only if the child has heard any of the news. There is no need to inform the child of the tragedy if the child does not know about it.

3^rd- 5^th graders are more likely to have heard the news.  Decide whether to bring the issue up with 3^rd and 4^th graders based on their temperaments.

Check for what your child knows – Ask, “What have you heard today?"

You may choose to approach the subject with children in 6^th grade and older.

No matter your child’s age, consider the following responses based on how you believe you need to address the tragedy with your child.

• The tragedy is isolated and tragedies like this happen rarely.
• The fact that this tragedy happened does not mean there is an immediate danger where you live.
• Emphasize that safety precautions are in place in schools.
• Reflect what your child may be feeling – “I know this is scary news. It is very sad.”
• Emphasize empathy for the victims – “It is very sad that this happened to those families and children.”
• Teenagers may reflect on the fragile nature of life and the unpredictability of life.

The conversation may focus on:

• Validating your child's feelings - it is OK to feel scared or sad
• Emphasizing that your child is safe
• Empathizing with the victims 

Michele Borba also offers advice at her blog {here}.