Reflecting Beauty And Brokenness

Last night I was blessed to tag along with my daughter to the wedding of her childhood friends Allie and Evan; today I'm still thinking about beauty and brokenness because of what their Pastor told us through them during the service.

She said that being married would call them to not only cherish and love one another, but hold the mirror up for each other, to reflect not only their beauty, the affirmations everybody craves to hear, but also their brokenness, the imperfections we can work on to grow.

Wait, we're meant to hold up the mirror for one another, 

not out of spite or malice, but to help each other grow?

Gosh, reflecting is so cathartic for the soul, 

but it can be convicting, too.

Do I owe my own husband gratitude and an apology?

It reminded me a little bit about our Square Squad that 

Brené Brown teaches about in her masterpiece, Dare To Lead.

When Jacob was counting 1x1-inch squares for my workshop, 

he said, "so, it's the people who will be square with you."

Yep.  Spot on, son.

Those who will reflect your beauty, 

so you can know affirmation and feel loved,

and your brokenness, so you can feel grace, set goals, 

and grow with their encouragement and support.

Our Canadian friend, psychologist Dr. Jody Carrington, 

in her game-changer Kids These Days,

calls these important people our Bottom Hands.

It's wisdom adapted from the Circle of Security.

Click the image for its source and more info.

Here's how Dr. Carrington explains it:

From when we are very young,

our Bottom Hands send us from our secure base

out into the world. As we stumble, they are there,

to comfort us, dust us off, and send us back out

 to explore our world. They help us grow, not by

holding us back but by having our back.

And giving it to us square.

Boom. 

And Shazam.

And Amen.

She goes on to add that the rest don't score.

Is that a hard one for anyone else?

Probably because, in my heart, everybody matters.

But that doesn't translate to having as much influence

as our Bottom Hands, our Square Squad, our Mirrors.

So today, I'm grateful to those people who

affirm the beauty and appreciate the brokenness

while being willing to reflect both back to me.

What do you reflect when that special someone holds the mirror for you? 

Whom are you holding that mirror for today?

And how could the mantra The Rest Don't Score 

help as you reflect beauty and brokenness this year?