PPBF: The Snow Thief

This is one of my favorite winter solstice scenes.

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Transforming Ourselfies

Today I'm praying fervently about this pandemic pandemonium

and wondering what changes we might see once it's over.

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A Commitment To Growth

Today I'm contemplating change as I think about a little seed, 

an unlikely place to plant {a crack in our back porch}, 

this healthy little sapling, and growing pains.

It surely gives Bloom Where You're Planted a whole new look.

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PPBF: Bitter And Sweet

Today I'm excited because I'm traveling home to Wisconsin, to visit family and take in the beauty of Autumn. I get this longing for Fall every year, because I miss the magic of my favorite season; lately, my longings turn toward my season with these beautiful kindness advocates.

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Limiting Mobility

Today I'm feeling vulnerable as we near the one-year mark of when I was told about my transfer from my school family of fourteen years to our sister school next door. I'm thinking a lot about who I am, where I belong, and what I'm meant to do. I'm also wrestling with the thoughts that get in the way, 

that are limiting my mobility as I bounce forward into the future. 

Ironically, I saw these parking spots when I dropped Joshua off for a French horn lesson this morning. And I laughed. Not because of their literal use, which I find the perfect example of empathy, compassion and kindness for people with physical limitations, but because of the metaphor they represent to me as I reflect more on the emotional challenges this year has brought with it. 

Maybe some of my sometimes reflections will resonate with you.

Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of self-doubt.

Sometimes I lack trust and nothing seems to anchor me.

Sometimes my errant beliefs get in my way.

Sometimes my anxiety finds me stuck in the past.

Sometimes my worries find me stressed about the future.

When these sometimes that threaten to limit my mobility happen,

 I think about to this quote by Karen Salmansohn.

Through my struggle, I keep coming back to the gift of a

 sidekick.

That's the friend who checks in on you.

The one who asks how you're doing.

The one who's okay with it if when you start to cry.

The one whose presence says, "You matter to me."

Sidekicks love unconditionally.

They extend grace lavishly and forgive over and over again.

They understand stuff about you

that you may not even understand yourself.

And they accept you for who you are, struggles and all.

So today I'm feeling vulnerable and overwhelmingly grateful

to the sidekicks who have been walking alongside of me this past year,

both literally and figuratively,

ready with a listening ear, a kind text or email, a smile, a hug.

{Even when I don't want a hug. Especially when I don't want a hug!}

For being strong when I'm not.

For telling me that that's okay.

For helping me love what is.

And let go of what no longer is.

For reminding me that there is a Higher Power.

And ensuring that I trust that it's all a part of His plan.

For helping me bloom where I'm planted.

And for seeing limitless possibilities instead of

limited mobility.

To my sidekicks:

You know who you are.

Please know how thankful I am.

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Transforming Change

Today I'm reflecting on transformation and change as I watch my butterfly garden

 with wide-eyed wonder and awe.

These guys started out as teeny, tiny caterpillars hatched from these itty-bitty eggs before they set out to devour these milkweed plants before our very eyes. Once they've had enough, they head off to find a safe place to turn their bodies into a J, wrap themselves up in a cloth-like silk substance and wait patiently for their amazing transformation.

Monarchs make change look pretty easy actually.

No hesitation.

No worry.

No fear.

And the struggle to get out of that safe chrysalis? No problem. That struggle is part of the deal, to get the blood flowing, so its wings will work and it can soar effortlessly to start the cycle all over again.

Ah, the circle of life.

Always growing.

Always changing.

Always moving on.

Check out these other miracles we couldn't help but notice this weekend, starting with this healthy plant growing out of a rock.

How is that even possible?

How about this cactus and the beehive next to it,

hanging on a cliff over the hiking trail?

Could the sky get any bluer?

And could these bluebonnets burst with any more beauty?

Springtime in Texas is a gift of transformation and change;

 enjoying it with family puts the fancy bow on top of the present.

What transforming change are you appreciating this beautiful Easter day?

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Ten Steps To Bloom Where You're Planted

Today I'm delighted and grateful to welcome school counselor Heather Thomas, who has some super suggestions for bouncing forward amidst challenge and change. Thank you, Heather, for this gift to our readers.

Hello! I’m Heather – author of the blog The Helpful Counselor. I love connecting with other counselors and educators through my blog and social media.

My blogging journey began 3 years ago out of my desire to connect with others school counselors. You see, I was the only elementary counselor for 3 buildings and 1,500 students. While my district has 5 fantastic (and supportive) school counselors at the secondary level … I felt isolated professionally. I often joked that I WAS the elementary counseling program.

Last year, I met with our superintendent, and with the support of my 3 principals, we attempted to write a grant for more elementary counselors. I was thrilled about the possibilities!!!

I must admit that it felt great knowing that my superintendent and principals were in full agreement that we needed more coverage at the elementary level. They valued what I did and wanted more school counseling support. After 8 years of advocating for more elementary counselors, I was finally getting some serious traction! Long story short, our attempt came up short and I remained the only counselor at the elementary level.

Fast forward to the 2014-2015 school year. Our budget fell waaaay short and my position was cut … leaving no elementary counselors to help my kiddos. My heart broke as I thought about all of my “frequent flyers” and the support they would no longer receive. Luckily, I went back to school about 7 years ago and received my special education and secondary English certification. It took me 3 ½ years of taking 2 classes a semester…fall, winter, spring, and summer. I drove twice a week for  1 ½ hours (each way) and I took a year off to complete my two semesters of student teaching.

Let me tell you, it wasn’t easy! Not only did I have 3 young kids (2, 3, and 5) but I also worked full time. There were times that I felt like it would never end, but I was chugging along – one semester at a time. Looking back, while the struggle was real, my decision to improve my skill-set is one of the best choices I have ever made. As fate would have it, a special education position opened around the same time my counseling position was cut. But, it wasn’t easy.

Besides teaching Young 5’s- 5^th grade counseling lessons, I had no experience teaching academic topics at the elementary level. I was unfamiliar with the content and teaching children with disabilities how to read, write, and solve math problems was intimidating to say the least. However, I love a challenge. I’ve always pushed myself to grow professionally. I viewed my new position as an opportunity to get an insiders’ perspective of the inner workings of a classroom and the challenges that special needs students face in the academic setting.

My goal in writing this post is not to share how difficulties of my new placement, but to remind everyone who reads this to make the most of tough situations and bloom where you are planted. Your situation might not be as radical as mine, but blooming where you are planted is solid advice no matter where you are in your career (or even personal life). I love this Zig Ziglar expression:

Click graphic to download a pdf ~ Thanks, Heather!

It’s simple but true! Below you will find key steps in keeping your spirits up and improving your situation. I hope you find them as helpful as I have.

1.     View the challenge as an opportunity to grow. There is something to be said for the adage, “that which does not kill you, will make you stronger.” Working outside your comfort zone will allow you to sharpen skills. Adding new skills to your bag of tricks will only help you along your professional and personal journey.

2.     Magnify the good and shrink the bad ... at least in your thoughts. Our thoughts shade how we view the world around us. When we spend a lot of time thinking about what is wrong, we sabotage the rest of our thoughts. Like attracts like and that definitely goes for our thoughts! (You can read more about keeping a positive frame of mind here.)

3.     Remind yourself about the root of your career choice -> to help children ... right? Isn’t that what we are in this for to begin with? If you are able to work in a position where you help kids, you are still able to meet your ultimate goal.

4.     Look for the next opportunity. When we become comfortable, we tend to overlook chances to find our true calling. There was a time I believed that I was meant to work for Michigan Department of Human Services. I interned with Protective Services and loved the rush I got knowing that I was truly protecting children and families. To put it mildly, I was overly confident in the interview and didn’t get the job. I was devastated. However, it pushed me to find a different job which turned out to be Whaley Children’s Center, a residential and foster care agency. My experience at Whaley pushed me to get my Masters degree, which led me to obtain my school counseling endorsement. I was later told that my experience at Whaley is what made the difference when I applied for the counseling position at my current district. (You can read more about seizing the moment here.)

5.     Be open to new experiences … aka get out of your comfort zone. While at Whaley, I worked with preteens and teens who were diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Conduct Disorder, and RAD. Most of the children I worked with came from extreme family situations that would break your heart. Others were one step away from the juvenile justice system. Working in the inner-city of Flint and Detroit made me feel needed and valued to the point that I vowed to always work in the inner-city with the neediest of the needy. Imagine the culture shock when I was placed in a rural Young 5’s-K and elementary building for my school counseling internship. I fell in love on Day 1!!!

6.    Share some of your experience with the kids you serve. My students struggle to overcome diversity every day. Learning about some of my challenges in life helps create a safe sense of community where they are more likely to take risks and open up to me. 

7.    Use your struggle as an opportunity to let your professionalism shine. Administrators are inundated with complaints about what the staff in their building doesn’t like and they are often forced to make tough decisions. It’s important to be honest and advocate for your preferences, but just think about your admin’s reaction when you inform them that you plan on making the best of your current situation and then continue to put forth your personal best in your role.

8.    Create a mental image of you being successful. Envision yourself achieving great things. What does it look like? What would it take to achieve that level of success? Now start making SMART goals and taking steps (no matter how small) toward your new definition of success.

9.     Say kind things. Counselors are great at being supportive of others, but we don’t always do such a hot job with ourselves. We need to stop and we need to stop now! Belittling our accomplishments and not practicing self-care put us on the fast track to self-doubt…which is never a good thing! (Read more about practicing self-care here and here.)

10.   Watch out for self-sabotage. It’s not always easy to spot, but it usually takes the form of justifying our actions when we don’t make the best decisions. Self-sabotage is when we feel we deserve an extra scope of ice cream because we worked out today. Self-sabotage is when we refuse to sign up for committee’s because we’re upset about our new placement. I know I’ve been guilty of both in my past … neither got me any further toward my goals.

Ultimately, the only constant in life is change! Like it or not, it’s true.  In order to find peace within ourselves, we must come to the understanding that there are factors outside of our control and that nothing in life is guaranteed. All we can do is enjoy the ride! I would love to hear about how you overcome challenges in the comments below.

All my best on your journey! Be sure to catch me on the web for more ideas on how to bloom where you are planted!!! Need help teaching kiddos to bloom where they’re planted? Be sure to check out my counseling games and activities on Teachers Pay Teachers!

Heather Thomas

The Helpful Counselor ~ Twitter ~ Facebook ~ Pinterest ~ Google +

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If The Walls Could Talk

Today I'm thinking about not only the high school graduates, but also the educators who will retire, for whom the 2014-2015 school year was a milestone, their last. My friend Jo, school counselor at Prairie Elementary, is one of those. Next week, she'll bid farewell to her school family and launch into the next chapter in life. Their good-bye time together resulted in this awesome reflection lesson.

They read the Dr. Seuss classic, Oh The Places You'll Go, 

then answered these four reflection questions:

Who would you like to be someday?

Where do you want to go visit?

What is one thing you have never done that you want to do?

What is one thing you will do this summer?

Don't you love these? What a sweet way to get closure and say good-bye. Congratulations, Jo. I'm proud of you and I wish you all the best.

I couldn't help but wonder what the walls in my old office, Room 11B, would say if they could talk. Oh, the stories they could tell. In fourteen years, I've seen a lot, prayed a lot, helped solve a lot of problems, and dried a lot of tears.

I went through some iPhoto archives to a role-play from a few years ago; 

what do you suppose these littles were 

thinking, 

feeling,

experiencing.

As I reflect with fondness on my time in that office, which is empty now and ready for another season, I feel like the walls would share a story of gratitude and growth, of enthusiasm and empathy, of hope and love. 

But I also know that I made a whole lot of mistakes, in Room 11B. Words I said that I wish I'd have filtered, problems I wrestled with that I ran out of steam to resolve, hurdles I encountered that I just couldn't get over with any kind of grace.

Recently I've learned to think of the word FAIL as

First Attempt In Learning.

Suffice it to say, I've learned a lot, in Room 11B.

So as I look forward, I'm excited to keep growing with those peacemakers, who are now fourth graders and headed to room A7 with me. 

Oh, the possibilities that lie ahead ... 

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Praying For A Sign

For a little over a month now, I've been praying for a sign, something concrete to help me know whether this transfer to work with older kiddos is the path I should go down or if it's that nudge into retirement that I might just need to grow my encore career in consulting and speaking. I've prayed, reflected, processed, cried, chatted, commiserated, walked, even floated on my pool, waiting for a sign.

And today, on my umpteenth trip down the hall,

there it was:

A sign, hanging just outside of my new space,

signed by members of my new school family.

Isn't that oh, so sweet?

Check out the beauty inside those new quarters,

thanks to Kathy Hammond and our PTO.

It's the backdrop for our staging area in Leadership Central. 

{That's what we're calling this room now. We even painted that on the wall at the entrance.}

I can't wait for our first circle-up in there,

to use this masterpiece as a reflection and discussion piece.

Where do you see trustworthiness?

How about empathy?

Which symbols show responsibility?

Why do you think there's a train?

What could the dog symbolize?

And how about that golden ruler?

This week has been at once energizing and exhausting.

My birthday on Monday,

our last full day on Tuesday,

and a half-day today, to launch students into the summer.

Yesterday I spent the morning with my second graders. They're the ones who'll be moving over to Bales to be the first third graders who've ever attended over there. I was happy to help them process their feelings about the move. My heart filled in every class as they'd gasp at the news that I was coming with them, so we could be new and nervous together.

I asked if we ought to bring the puppets and they unanimously voted yes. Then I asked them to feel empathy for the students that we were leaving behind, and they decided it'd be fair to take half of them and leave half for them. When I asked them what they thought a counselor new to Westwood would want or need, it was suggested that she might like some love and a letter. 

So many of them wrote nice notes, like this one ... 

and this one.

Do you see what I adore about second graders?

Anyway, today I survived the big so-long without too many tissues.

It took about thirty seconds in our community gathering this morning for Administration to share the news that their counselors were swapping spots, but I wanted/needed more, so I went say good-bye to the first graders and encourage them to rock the job of role-model big kids now that they'll be the oldest in the school. With the kinder kids, I just went around to give and get hugs.

I feel so much gratitude for those of you who checked in on me,

connected with me, and prayed for me this last month.

And this afternoon, I'm experiencing the clarity and peace

that I was asking for along with that sign,

and I have a sneaking suspicion that it's going to be just fine.

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A Time To Grow

As many of you know, I've been struggling with the news that I'm moving with my rising third graders next year, and that my struggle has nothing to do with where I'm going and everything to do with where I've been.

Because moving toward acceptance takes time. 

Getting my heart to catch up with my head takes time.

And finding grace in the grief of letting go takes time.

But of this I'm sure:

For the first fifteen years of my career, I didn't put down any roots.

In fact, I never stayed anywhere more than four years before

shaking things up a bit,

 changing direction

and moving on to something new.

I worked in Wisconsin for my first year out of college,

then moved to Texas and worked at a junior high for a year.

A job opened up for me at Friendswood High School and I stayed there four years before taking a leave of absence to explore Seattle and check out the possibility of becoming a counselor. {What a great place to do that, I know!}

Then I came back to Texas, got married, and taught for four more years at FHS before heading to a neighboring district for a year as a high school counselor. Then we moved to WI for a year and when we got back to Texas, I worked as a counselor at yet another high school for three more years. 

When I felt the pull to leave secondary education, I went for a year to a middle school and the Westwood position opened up. I had a steep learning curve to climb, but it would be worth it to be back home where my own children were now attending school.

I thrived on change.

Change invigorated me.

Change is good and I was good at it.

  

But the last fifteen have been different, because I stayed.

I found something that I really connected with, so

I put down roots that go really, really deep. And wide. 

So it's been a while since I've had to change, and let's face it, change is hard. I know. Please don't email or text those words to me right now. I get it. It's most helpful when people validate how hard it must be to let go. Because I'm working on moving toward acceptance, really I am. I know that it's time to get growing, because if we never change and grow, we'll never have anything new to offer.

I asked a group of firsties in the Counselor Cafe today
what they would do if I left Westwood.
First they gasped, then they said they'd be sad.
After hardly any time at all, Megan said,
We'll do the character you taught us.

So for today, I'm planning the renovations for that sound-proof former band hall where next year we'll be mining the treasures that lie within our superhero middle-grade leaders. Now I just have to decide which sounds better, 

Leadership Lane or The Values Vault.

Let's grow!

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Comfort Zone ~ No Parking

From time to time, I get Dear-Abby-style notes from readers, who share their heartbeats and ask for me to help them process, reflect and resolve. This past Monday, I got a note from a reader I've never met, who was hurting about the news that she's being transferred from her elementary school to the high school. 

Her heart and soul, she shared with me, is counseling her littles. 

And she wondered if I had ever been in that situation.

 Then she asked me what I would do. 

I thought about this poster I created years ago for my office ...

... and then I offered support with these words:

I'm sad that you're being transferred, but I have to wonder if maybe they need your enthusiasm, passion and drive in the HS where you're going. Will some of the kids whom you've influenced in elementary attend that same HS? I know you won't be able to do the lessons, but your work in character ed is by NO way, shape or form done, just because you're going to work with bigger kids ... and maybe the faculty at the HS needs you?  

If you know me, you know that it's my nature to look for the positives.  If the answer is NO to all of those aforementioned possibilities, then absolutely find somewhere that you'll use your passions to their fullest ... if your heart is with elementary and only elementary, then don't settle for HS. I began my career working with teenagers and believe me, you have to want to work with them!

Know that I'm pulling for you in whatever you choose to do. Wherever you go, go with all your heart. It frustrates me for you that you're being transferred without a voice, but I do know of places that intentionally do that, to spread the wealth, to keep things fresh, to keep people guessing. Do I think it's the best practice? Probably not the way I'd do it, but it's a practice that seems to have some teeth with some administrations.

Pray about it. Write a pros and cons page. Keep bouncing feelings off of other counselors who are in the trenches with you. Lord knows we need to seek out (and align with) those good counselors in the trenches with us!

Thanks for reaching out to me ... I'm lucky to not have ever been in your position, being transferred beyond my control ... but I can imagine it doesn't feel that good right now. Keep on breathing and having courageous conversations with people who are making these decisions so that you don't just disappear without explaining what this experience is like for you and why.

One caution: While it is nice to work in a place where you are appreciated and affirmed, it's also important to work in a place where you're needed. I can't help but think that you're being called out of your comfort zone for a reason ... or maybe I'm just talking to myself ... my dad taught me long ago to ask: Am I running from or running toward?

If you're running toward, run freely, my friend. If you're running away, don't leave any stones unturned.

I signed my name and clicked send. 

And fewer than 24 hours later, on Tuesday afternoon, in an incredibly ironic 
{and providential?} twist, I was sitting with my administration, hearing words like 
full-time unit and shift and transfer and finish strong! 

Wait, what? I'm transferring? 

To another building? 

To another school family? 

Out of my comfort zone?

When doors close, windows open. And so, dear reader, today I am in need of your positive thoughts, warm energy and prayers for clarity and peace, because I'm moving out of that no-parking zone, where I've enjoyed an extended stay for 14 glorious years. Where my heart and soul are. Where my school family is.

I'm excited to see what possibilities unfold ahead and 

I will keep you posted as I move forward.

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